“And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone…” (Matthew 14:23)
Each Sunday in our worship service, Pastor Dan (a great preacher and person, by the way) always prays right after he reads the scripture for the morning’s message. It’s a nice prayer, focused and spiritual. I close my eyes and think about Jesus…and then I drift into a twenty-second nap. There are needs and there are wants, and what I need in that short moment is some slumber.
I wish I could apologize to Pastor Dan, but if I did, he would know that I had swayed off of the prayer trail and into the soft pillow my mind has set before me. Seriously, I think sitting quietly for a few moments with no one pulling on me, and with one of the youth speaking with the volume control turned up full blast, brings on the calming of my spirit. It is definitely what I want, but it is also what I need at that moment.
About the time Dan is landing with an amen, I hope he will receive an extended inspiration and delay the conclusion for two or three more seconds. Kind of like a revivalist preacher who would come to our church for a series of weeknight meetings. He drew out the prayer-ending amen so long, my Wrigley’s Chewing Gum had lost its spring. If Pastor Dan can spread it out, my mind is able to come back into the present, and I’m ready to hear the word of God spoken by him for the next twenty minutes or so.
I’m comforted by the biblical revelations of Jesus “needing a moment.” He often pulled to the side and spent time alone in prayer. It is never revealed what he prayed for in those solitary times, except when the tempter meets him in the wilderness. Perhaps Jesus prays for his disciples, or talks with His Father, or is simply quiet and still for the moment. Depending on the Sunday, my Baptist guilt complex either pounds on me or God’s grace is triumphant. One of the two wins. More and more, it’s the grace of God that sweeps into the moment and reminds me of the Sunday mornings in my growing-up days that I leaned against my dad in the midst of worship and slumbered for more than twenty seconds. Of course, the weight of my head pressed against him may have kept him from his own nodding off as Pastor Zachary went on and on about the things of God and the needs of his people.
On a more personal note, my twenty-second naps may be an indication of the tiredness of my soul. Sometimes we pastor-types drive ourselves relentlessly. We are ever mindful of the problems of others and frequently negligent about our own self-care. It is probably why, in my 36 years as a pastor and speaking almost every Sunday, I valued the Sunday afternoon nap. It was a gift from God that lasted much more than twenty seconds.
The difference now is that God does His renewing a lot faster. Thank you, Lord…and forgive me, Pastor Dan!
Words from WW Blog 