Posted tagged ‘Charmin’

Conversations in the TP Lane

March 22, 2020

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                      March 22, 2020

                          

I was at King Soopers (our supermarket) today to pick up a Lowe’s gift card. The gift cards are located one lane over from the aisle where paper towels, facial tissues, and toilet paper reside. I wasn’t looking to go in that direction, but when I turned around to head to the checkout, I noticed a woman in one of the lines with a multi-pack of toilet paper on top of her other groceries.

TP!

Carol and I weren’t in desperate need yet, but…you know…a couple of beef stews and fried chicken dinners and our supply could be depleted quickly! TMI!

So my curious nature caused me to go and explore the possibilities. Two ladies were gathering up some Angel Soft 12 roll packs as I headed down the aisle toward them. One of the women looked at me and with surprise written across her face said, “Can you believe it? They have toilet paper?”

“Really!”

She sounded similar to one of the California 49er’s discovering gold, and she said to me in a commanding sort of way, “Get you some!”

Perhaps it had been all the Charmin ads that I’d been hearing during Spotify commercial breaks that caused me to pick up a pack with four rolls of that brand in it. My act of conservatism caught the attention of the other lady, and she spoke to me like I was cheating myself. “Oh, don’t just get that! Take one of those multi-packs!”

“Well, it’s only my wife and me.”

“Best to play it safe and have a few rolls ready, just in case!” The other lady nodded her head, seconding the motion.

I put the Charmin back and picked up a pack of the Angel Soft. Even with the name of the product indicating a divine direction, it didn’t feel as soft as the Charmin. In times of need, however, better to go quantity over quality. 

“We were shocked that they still had some on the shelves!” exclaimed the “teacher lady”.

“These are strange times, aren’t they?” I replied.

“They sure are.”

“I was just stopping by to get a Lowe’s gift card and I saw a lady in line with some TP. Kinda’ curious, so I thought I’d just check it out.”

“Betcha’ there wouldn’t be any left if you came here this afternoon,” said the second lady.

“Well, I can go home now and…” I stopped, realizing I was talking about the frequency of one of my bodily functions. The first lady finished the sentence for me.

“Not worry about running out?” she said. “You don’t have conversations like this in the chicken section of the store!”

“I guess not.”

“Or around the dairy products either,” added her friend. “People don’t get that shook up about an empty cheese case.”

“It’s amazing how anxious people have been about TP,” I added.

“Well,” the teacher said, “let’s hope everything comes out okay!” There was a moment of pondering over her words and then she added, “I didn’t mean it that way!”

The three of us smiled and headed for the checkout, clutching our treasures tightly.