Posted tagged ‘critical’

The Value Of Being Told You Aren’t All That

April 29, 2018

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                     APRIL 29, 2018

 

In seventeen days I’ll be pulling out of our driveway and heading to Estes Park, Colorado for the Christian Writers Conference. For me it has the feel of a rookie arriving at spring training camp…the anxiety of being the new kid, the uncertainty of what I’ll find out, and the fear of being told my writing sucks the wind!

I received the good news this past week that I was accepted into the Fiction Intensive Clinic, a group limited to six that will spend a number of hours together during the three day conference affirming, questioning, and dissecting the synopsis and first chapter of each other’s book.

In preparation for the conference, a friend of mine arranged a luncheon meeting with him and a man, who works for the same Christian publishing company, to discuss my book and offer me some guidance. At Estes Park I will have the opportunity to meet with several literary agents, but each of those appointments are only 15 minutes long.

We sat munching on our lunch and chit-chatting and then my lunch partner asked me a question: “Tell me what your book is about in one sentence.”

I pondered for a moment between bites and then offered something that didn’t make much sense, and was more than one sentence.

Followup: “Would you say the book is character-based or a plot-based?”

“Well, I think it would be character-based, although there is the building to a climax and…”

A couple of other followup questions and then the bad news.

“If I was a publisher I don’t think I would be interested in pursuing the book.”

Gulp! My sweet beverage suddenly had a sour taste to it.

It was hard to hear, but probably what I needed to hear. Not that the book isn’t good enough to be published, but rather that I need to be clearer on my understanding and presentation about it. A fifteen minute appointment is not a long time and in those brief moments the presenter needs to communicate what the story is about, its audience, and why I wrote it. My critic did me a favor. He showed me that after you write a double-spaced 400 page book you have to do the hard work of being able to present it.

Part of who we are, our DNA personality if you will, is the desire to “be all that”, to think that we have it…the next Hemingway, or Missy Franklin, or Taylor Swift. We want whatever our performance is to be awe-inspiring and jaw-dropping.

Words of reality are needed to bring us back to who we really are and what we need to do. I officiated high school and small college basketball for sixteen years, and I saw my share of officials who never raised their level of performance because they wouldn’t listen to the words of their evaluators. I was only able to raise my level because I listened to people who were willing to tell me where I needed to improve, questioned me about certain whistles I had during games, and quizzed me on “what if’s”.

There is value in being told that you aren’t all that! In Estes Park I’m sure I’ll hear variations of those words a number of times, but there will also be words said in a way that will spur me on towards a desired outcome.

Saying Dumb Things

March 18, 2014

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                    March 18, 2014

 

                                       “Saying Dumb Things”

 

I am a man!

That means that I often don’t think about what I say until the verbage has left my lips. I wonder if James had just said a dumb thing right before he wrote “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” (James 1:19) Had he just made a comment to his wife…if he was married…about the chicken being too dry or the rice not cooked enough?

I notice he addressed the words to a bunch of guys. There were probably some heading that were nodding in agreement as they read it.

I remember one time in college I had a first date with a fine young lady. I was trying to impress her with flattery about her physical features (never a good thing to do on a first date…especially at a Christian college!), so I made the comment that she was lean in some places and not as lean in others. I can still remember saying that dumb thing outside of Volkman Hall on campus. James was not speaking quick enough to my inner hearing. I didn’t hear him saying “Be slow to speak” quick enough. In the Amplified First Date Version that verse says “Better sometimes not to speak at all..especially when talking about physical features!”

Needles to say my date thought I was saying she was lean in the wrong places and not lean also in the wrong places. My hope of a second date was about as possible as Weber State’s running the NCAA basketball tournament table.

We all say dumb things, but really dumb things stay in our memory storage facility for a long time. For me in that situation, that means…40 years now!

Some might say that God led my lips to say such idiotic words in order to guide me to my future wife as a result of closed doors in other directions.

That’s almost as dumb!

Last Sunday in church I told the congregation that Carol ands I were going to vacation, but I didn’t want to say where we were going. My reason was that it was a warm spot with beaches and I didn’t want to look to uppity!

Dumb!

And then in my message I was talking about the teachers of the law questioning the authority of Jesus because he didn’t have the credentials. I equated it to what the church will have to decide on what is important the next time they do a pastoral search. How important are credentials? I was focused on the questioning of Jesus.

The congregation, however, was questioning where i was going on vacation and what I would be doing. They were thinking there was a reason I was talking about the next search for a pastor and not telling them where I would be vacating to!

Wow! James was whispering too slow to me again!

Dumb.

I think dumb words stay with us longer than words of wisdom. One of our young guys was telling me about something I said in a message a few months ago and how it impacted him. I can’t remember the message and the words. Evidently I had a fit of wisdom that invaded lack of forethought comments.

I wish those times would rise back to the surface more often than they do. They are like the cream. Dumb things said are like the sour milk. Open a refrigerator and it’s the sour milk that hits your nose a lot sooner than the cream.

Last week I was coaching a basketball game and I was pretty critical of one of my players. He made a couple of mistakes that cost us baskets in the midst of a tight game. My words defeated his spirit more than awaken his intensity. Yesterday I intentionally found ways to affirm him in the midst of the game…his defensive intensity…his decisions…and his level of play went way up.

Sometimes dumb things said cause damage in ways that are hard to recover from.

Since I’m six weeks shy of sixty I’m a little better at saying things now than I was as a pimply-faced college student…but I still have those moments when things exit my mouth and head directly towards “Trouble!”

Before Carol and I leave on vacation I’ll be able to tell our senior’s Bible study group, appropriately named “The Ageless Wonders”, that we’re going to a resort located on a beach. They will get the word out that the pastor of the past fifteen years is not being interviewed in another town by another church.

Most will be relieved. Perhaps a few will mumble “Shucks!”

Using Up Good Soil

April 2, 2013

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                                April 2, 2013

 

In basketball there is a negative comment that is sometimes made about a tall player who can’t catch, rebound, play defense, or shoot. Someone will see a player like that and say, “There’s a waste of height!”

It is meant to characterize the player as, pretty much, being useless. The same statement, with some revisions, has been made about musicians, football players, artists, and others. Let’s face it! We are often more prone to be critical than affirming.

But there is an interesting story that occurs in Luke 13 with Jesus that is a variation on the theme of wasted space. It revolves around a parable he tells about using up good soil. Here’s the scripture:

A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any. So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard. ‘For three years now I’ve been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven’t found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?’

‘Sir,’ the man replied, ‘leave it alone for one more year, and I’ll dig around it and fertilize it. If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.’”  (Luke 13:6-9, NIV)

Bottom line! The fig tree was using up good soil! Undoubtedly it was sucking up nutrients and water that could help the other parts of the vineyard to grow healthier. It was a pothole that had become a sinkhole! It was like the “one low price” that had taken on so many additional fees that you no longer could even see the original one low price.

Just as many of the parables of Jesus prompted a number of thoughts and reactions, this parable follows suit. There is an obvious correlation between the fruitless fig tree and the nation of Israel at that time. Micah 7:1 comes to mind: “What misery is mine! I am like one who gathers summer fruit at the gleaning of the vineyard; there is no cluster of grapes to eat, none of the early figs that I crave!”

As I have re-read the parable many times I’m also struck by how it speaks to me, to my purpose, my life direction. Is there sometimes a restlessness in my life that could be summarized as a waste of good soil? Am I sometimes a user of good soil with no fruit to show for it?

Yesterday, here in Colorado Springs, watering restrictions went into effect. Since our residence is an even numbered address we are allowed to water our lawn and bushes on Sundays and Wednesdays. One of the results of the watering restrictions in the coming months will be that people will be a little bit more aware of what needs water, and what is a waste of water.

Is my life a waste of the grace of God? It’s a question I wrestle with. Without sounding arrogant, I believe that God has graced me with some incredible gifts. Like the tall basketball player ( I sometimes dream of being tall!), I realize being gifted, or blessed, and using your gifts are two different things.

Because of the weirdness of my mind I also think of the parable in relation to the Church. If a church is using up good soil, the Vineyard Owner is taking a dim view of things. Existing is not the purpose. It is not the end all! Passing a budget for the next year is not an indication of fruitfulness and fulfilling purpose. Having a full calendar of weekly events is not even an indication of fruitfulness.

Could it be that the vineyard worker is going to try to re-fertilize one more time and wait to see if the figs start appearing?

Tough questions that lead me in my journey this week. In the meantime there are a couple of pot holes in the parking lot that aren’t getting smaller, and a tall basketball player I know who has a hard time walking and chewing gum at the same time. Throwing a basketball in right now is not a pretty sight!