Posted tagged ‘Amazon’

My E(xponential) Mail

December 27, 2019

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                  December 27, 2019

                              

It’s the electronic version of breeding rabbits. One disappears and three others suddenly start hopping around to take its place. You should see the rabbit paw prints in my backyard snow. They resemble a bad Picasso painting, all in white.

I’m talking about my email! It seems to grow exponentially. Something piques my interest, like KiwiCo Toys, so I click on the Facebook ad. Now I get an avalanche of KiwiCo ads on Facebook and also in my email. Curiosity killed the cat, but 50 ads a day killed the interest of this “cat!”

I’ve done Trivia Today, an email I receive twice daily, but now my inbox is also populated with Trivia Daily, Trivia Genius, Trivia Draws, Trivia Today: This Day in History, Trivia Cafe’, and FunTrivia. I receive so many trivia emails I feel shallow, like I no longer am able to think deeply.

Now when Carol and I go somewhere instead of conversation about subjects like Jesus, family, and the latest advances in knee replacements we go through emails and delete them. I swear last night we eliminated 15 emails on our short drive home from Costa Vida restaurant, but 45 new ones then flocked in to take their place. It reminded me of feeding pigeons in the park. 

We took a Viking River Cruise last May with our friends, Dave and Robyn Hughes. Viking now seems to think we want to take a cruise a week. Every day we receive an email with a “limited time offer.” Crystal Cruise Line must have gotten word of us as well because they come calling, er…emailing, every day as well. 

Then there’s the political emails. It seemed to take me forever to get off the Tea Party list. And every time I asked to be unsubscribed it seemed like I attracted the attention of five other conservative watchdog groups. It reminds me of the lint in my pants pockets that just seems to come from nowhere. 

I receive NRA, CNN, SI, NCAA, the NBA, and DSW emails on a daily basis. One time four years ago we ordered a tee shirt from fanatics.com and now they are fanatical about sending us the daily offer quadrupled!

I get an email each day that the latest copy of our local newspaper is available. It’s the same newspaper that I unsubscribed to in mid-September. 

We keep unsubscribing and the emails keep repopulating. At least the “Russian Women Are Looking For You” emails have stopped. Of course, ancestry.com rushed in to take their place. Every time I order something from Amazon they send me emails about some other products that I might be interested in.

Perhaps I should do an “email fast”. Commit to not looking at email for a day, maybe a forty day fast. Maybe I should give up email for Lent.

If I did, guess what would happen? I’d be digging out for the next month!

Remember the good ole’ days when you’d get six pieces of mail in the mailbox, spend the next two minutes considering their value, and then get on with your life? We’d get the new copy of the TV Guide and then sit in front of our television flipping back and forth between the four stations we received. We didn’t know how blessed we were, did we?

And in writing these words I realize that it will require some of my readers to open an email! Ironic, isn’t it?

Unsubscribing

February 4, 2016

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                           February 4, 2016

                                           

A few years ago a retired Air Force colonel showed me the stack of mail on his dining room table. Colonel Keyte was a staunch conservative Republican who supported various organizations that trumpeted his beliefs. The stack of mail was pleas from foundations, freedom initiatives, gun rights groups, veteran’s causes, and people who sought to make the reader believe that our country was going to hell in a hand basket.

I remember the colonel looking at me and saying, “I’ve got to cut them off!” He had discovered that for every cause he had sent a financial contribution in support of two more heads seemed to appear. His stack was sixty deep.

“I’ve got to cut them off!”

I’ve discovered a similar truth every morning when I check my email. A while back I got on the mailing list of one conservative group, and it seems “that dog has had a litter of puppies.”

Every time I order something on Amazon I get a few follow-up emails suggesting I might now like this additional product. Those of you who know my addiction to books will recognize that disaster loomed.

This morning my “Delete” button eliminated emails for Christian t-shirts, helmet stickers for middle school football helmets, extended health care, affordable life insurance, LED TV’s on sale, lingerie, financial aide for college students, jeans, money management, mortgage relief, and, finally, that two people I know are looking for me!

I began unsubscribing this morning. It’s interesting how some email senders make it so easy to get off the list. Find the “unsubscribe” button, click it, and a message immediately comes up that says you’ve been freed…my interpretation!

Others, however, are like a whining child who won’t stop asking for a cookie. “Are you sure you want to unsubscribe? Do you want to unsubscribe just for a few days? Is there a reason you want to unsubscribe? Please consider not doing it!”

Good Lord! It reminded me when I was pastoring in Michigan and we found out there were two people who were still members of the church, but were dead! They had been dead for years, but were still members!

This morning I hit the right button multiple times! It was awesome! And just in time before the political season really heats up!

Just a thought! Perhaps Best Buy should reassign some of the people who keep sending me emails about sales going on to actually being IN THE STORE! What a concept to have someone in the store who can help you!

Colonel Keyte would be proud of me!