Words from WW Blog

“When I said, “My foot is slipping,”
    your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
 When anxiety was great within me,
    your consolation brought me joy.” (Psalm 94:18-19)

There are times when it seems that I’m not grasping situations or I’m losing my grip on life. You’ve probably been there. You wake up in the morning and you’re wondering what the purpose of the day is. It seems like a barren field of endless minutes. To agitate my Kansas friends, I compare it to driving across Kansas…with no end in sight.

As I was reading Tim and Kathy Keller’s devotional, The Songs of Jesus, the verses in Psalm 94 caused me to stop and consider. Even when my grip on life is slipping, God supports me. Even when I am anxious about driving down Powers Boulevard in the midst of the speeding lane-changers, the Lord whispers comforting words to my soul.

Gosh! What an encouragement it is to know that I don’t have to be at the top of my game, that the Lord lifts me up as I encounter the de-energizing, withering, stumbling times of life. What an incredible picture to know that “anxious Billy” can be transformed to “joyous Willy!” It doesn’t need to rest like a sack of potatoes on my shoulders alone.

In my years as a pastor…you know, being the one who everyone thinks is as solid and unwavering as a Stonehenge rock…there were times…long, dry periods…where I seemed to be stumbling along. I couldn’t get a grip on situations or understand what the next steps should be. I was supposed to be the one who led, the one who navigated the way, but there was no movement. It was like I was trying to walk through a patch of oil that was unforgiving. I’d read scripture, and it didn’t catch. I’d pray, and it didn’t seem to have any value in it. I’d preach and wonder what point I was trying to make.

I needed to have these words of the Psalm cross-stitched into my memory. Isn’t it amazing how one can read verses over and over and not have them take root and then one day read the exact same words again and have them blaze a new trail for the journey.

Anxious moments result in comforting joy. The sensation of falling results in dependable love. Who would have thunk it?

Thank you, Lord, for being there not only when I recognized your presence, but even when I was oblivious of it.

“I rejoiced with those who said to me,
    “Let us go to the house of the Lord.” (Psalm 122:1)

What does your life sing? Not necessarily on tune or with a beat that others can understand, but rather a psalm that sings to the Lord.

I’ve been reading Tim and Kathy Keller’s devotional, The Songs of Jesus, which goes through the Old Testament Psalms and Eugene Peterson’s A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, which focuses on the Psalsm of Ascent (Psalm 120-131). It’s interesting to see the different moods of the singer, some extraordinary in their praise and others revealing an urgency to understand why bad things are happening.

It has caused me to reflect on the psalms of my life and the life of the church. What tune does my attitude hum? Is it recognizable? Is it what other people are hearing? Like an audition for “The Voice”, does my voice sound off-key or melodic? Do I echo a groan like a wanna-be rapper or resemble a Gordon Lightfoot ballad?

On any given day, my life plays like a Spotify playlist, a mixture of good and bad, deep thoughts and shallow utterances. At one moment, like the psalmist, I’m going on and on about the need for mercy and grace, and at the next, I’m pleading for deliverance from a perceived enemy.

Today, at this moment, I’m quivering about the anger of the world that has erupted in brawls at high school commencement ceremonies, seen a belligerent man setting people on fire who were peacefully protesting a cause he didn’t agree with, and seen a drive-by shooting into a group of Chicago teenagers.

Last night, I angrily sang my own psalm as a motorcyclist strolled forward between the lined up cars (because a stupid law says he can) and then took off like a rocket when the stoplight turned green. There, I guess I sounded quite like David as he yelled,

“Lord, do good to those who are good,
    to those who are upright in heart.
 But those who turn to crooked ways
    the Lord will banish with the evildoers.” (Psalm 124:4-5)

Some of the psalms my life sings are deeply personal and others are like praise songs that have lost their meaning because they keep repeating the same words over and over to ad nauseam.

Just like David’s psalms that have been remembered and sung for generations and generations, the psalms of my life will be remembered by those who have interacted with my life in some way. In some cases, I have unknowingly cast a shadow on someone’s life. Shadows can be dark and unforgiving or places of shade and rest. For other folk, perhaps my life-singing has been uplifting and humorous. A few bars of happiness may have lit up someone’s dreary day.

And so, I head into another day of psalm-ing. Lord, may it be an honest reflection of my relationship with you, as well as being an authentic sounding of what Jesus means to me.