Posted tagged ‘daughter’

From Father to About-To-Be-Married Daughter

October 10, 2013

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                     October 10, 2013

 

 

Dear Child Turned Into Woman,

 

I’ve experienced a shower of joyful tears in recent days as I’ve pondered your approaching wedding. Your mother has labored hours and hours in anticipation of the event, and I know the labors of love have been preceded by years of prayers of love.

You are being wed to a man to look up to. Well…you usually do look up to anyone who is older than eleven, but you look up to Mike because of his character and qualities.  He has a spirit of determination within him, and he is determined to be a husband of strong character and substance.

So what can I say to do as you approach this transition from single young lady to new wife?

Be who are you are! Mike loves you for who you are, not for who you might be. He was drawn by your tender spirit, your sensitivity for those who are hurting. He loves your gullible nature and adorable laugh. He loves your strong convictions and commitment to principle. And he loves your fearfulness and, odd as it sounds, your fearsomeness. He loves your need for his input, although I don’t think you need to call him to see what kind of toilet paper you should buy at Walgreen’s! You can keep calling your mom for input on things like that.

Be grounded and surrounded! Continue to be a learner of the Word and a journeyer with Jesus. Beginning a marriage needs the spiritual blanket of prayer and support. Take each other’s hand at dinner and say a prayer of thanksgiving. Find some others who are followers of Jesus and join with them. Stay away from churches with hype and lot for a church of substance and authenticity. Question why you believe what you believe, and discover where your spiritual roots are solid and which ones need a bit if fertilizing.

Be addicted to laughter! Nothing brightens up a home light shared laughter. You’re good at that. Your life has been abundantly filled with laughter. You and your sister laughed so much together as you were growing up…and you still do! One of the joys as your father has been hearing sibling chuckles, even though I was clueless as to what you were laughing about.

Be weather-resistant! That is, you and Mike will encounter storms. Life has it’s times of blessed sunshine, but also torrents of rain. Stand firm! Stand together. As your parents get older there will be those health scares and realities that will bring stress to your life and Mike’s life. There will be disagreements that you will encounter with your husband. Don’t ever let life situations and storms rise above your love and commitment to one another. The depth of your marriage is directly related to the persevering through difficult times.

Be willing to ask. If you need advice call us. Both you and I know that you call your mom about eighty times a day to talk about wallpaper, reality TV shows, and the price of shampoo. I get it! I don’t like wallpaper, reality TV, or what the brand of my shampoo is. But if you need some advice on something, don’t be afraid to call. On the other hand, marriage is an opportunity for you and Mike to now figure out some things on your own. He can be your adviser and you can be his adviser. I’m okay with being the next layer down.

Be my daughter…still! I’m extremely proud of you. Who you have been, who you are, and who you will be. Each of our three kids is special to us. Who would have thought our kid who kept kicking down the “For Sale” sign in front of our house at 816 Cindy Street, Mason, Michigan, would one day marry Michael Terveen from Spearfish, South Dakota? Although you will legally be Mrs. Elizabeth Terveen, you will always be “Lizi” to us. We treasure our relationship with you, which although will take on a different dynamic, will not change at the core. You are our daughter…and now I’m crying tears of joy!

Driving Miss Lizi

September 8, 2012

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                                  September 8, 2012

 

Several years ago there was a movie entitled Driving Miss Daisy about an elderly Jewish lady and her black chauffeur in the South, starring Jessica Tandy and Morgan Freeman. It was based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning play by Alfred Uhry.

I lived a variation of that film the past two days. It was called Driving Miss Lizi, and it was a story about a dad and his youngest daughter driving to Albuquerque and back for his daughter’s job interview and looking for an apartment.

Unlike the original Driving Miss Daisy play, this one probably won’t win any awards or be featured in the previews of upcoming movies, but it will be remembered by at least one of the main characters- me!

It included the basic details: quick bite at Arby’s in Raton, New Mexico (2 Beef and Cheddars for $5!); gas up in Bernadillo, New Mexico (I drive a hybrid! I can go a long way! My car and hold it longer than my bladder!); stay at a Senior Citizen hotel in Albuquerque (I swear there was a convention going on!); Lizi complaining about snoring; finding a Starbucks.

But what I’ll remember about the journey was the conversations, the seeking of my input about apartment possibilities, the laughter, the singing or humming along to the music on XM radio.

I’ll remember the glimpses of her mom that came out- the fears and worries, how she drives, her grace.

Sharing a journey with your child is a precious time. You wouldn’t necessarily think of driving to Albuquerque and back in a 26 hour window as precious, but it was.

Sometimes we allow our lives to get in the way with our relationships.

Too often sharing in the moment becomes secondary to the moment. For instance, how many NFL fans will become oblivious to the world and everyone else this Sunday as they sit in front of the TV? Playing video games becomes more important than who it is you are playing with. Getting the yard raked becomes more important than teaching a six year old daughter how to rake. Writing a sermon becomes more important than the people it will be preached to.

I’ve been reading through the Gospels in the past two weeks. Whereas the disciples of Jesus were usually task-oriented, Jesus had a nice mix of taking care of Kingdom work and caring for Kingdom people. He seemed to always have time for a conversation, a discussion, a walk.

I recognize that I am more like the disciples than Jesus. This evening I will probably mow the lawn because… The urgency of it will somehow center itself in my mind as the day goes on. I am task-oriented in a profession that requires work to get done, but also people to be cared for. Finding the balance is often like finding the accurate point on the weigh scale that is the balance point.

It occurs to me that driving Miss Lizi became an exceptional time because we were together in a car mostly on cruise control. Airport terminals are much more stressful…unless you fly into Huntington, West Virginia, complete with white rocking chairs.

We were in a shared, uninterrupted space. In fact, perhaps the most meaningful times I’ve had with family and friends this summer have involved driving: Going with Carol and Lizi to Telluride; driving with Carol to Vail; and driving on-road and off with the group of young guys I lead to a remote camping spot so off the beaten path that even wild animals can’t find it.

In another month or so I’ll make another trip with Lizi and Carol to the same city in New Mexico. This time, however, Carol and I will return without her.

There will be tears…and Carol won’t let me stop at Long John Silver’s!