Archive for the ‘Parenting’ category
February 11, 2018
WORDS FROM W.W. February 9, 2018
Yesterday I posted “the list”! The list is the 13 seventh grade boys who have been invited to be a part of the Timberview Middle School interscholastic basketball team. It’s a list of celebration that had 13 signs of relief breathed upon it.
Not on the list are the 28 others who I had to say “Sorry!” to. Telling seventy percent of the boys that they were cut is worse than a couple of hemorrhoids living side by side…okay, maybe not that bad!
“Cutting kids” is also a life lesson. In every aspect of life there are those who are left off the list. Last spring I applied for a head coaching position for basketball at a local high school. About a week later I received an email informing me that I was not one of the finalists. There was a moment of indignation, but I got over it. Two weeks later I interviewed for another position and was a finalist, but was still not the final pick. In both cases I was not the one. It’s how life works.
For each of the students who tried out for the seventh grade team I did an evaluation that I will willingly share with any of them who ask me. I made the point to those who were not chosen that if they work on specific skills their chances of making next year’s team will improve. Some will make attempts, and others will find other things that may be more of a passion than basketball.
Parents don’t like kids to be cut. In fact, we use softer language as I did in the first paragraph. We “invite” a few students to be on the interscholastic team. If you hear the students talk, however, they will usually use one of two terms. They “made the team”, or they “got cut.”
Some day these same kids will apply for college or submit a resume for a job. When they are rejected I wonder if their parents will correct them and say, “No, honey! You just weren’t invited to take the position!”
Pain and disappointment lead to self-discovery. “I’m sorry to inform you” letters cause adolescents to realize that the world does not spin on their personal axis. If someone is never disappointed he/she will seldom reach for something that is still beyond their reach.
One boy came to me Friday afternoon. He’s a good-sized kid, who I thought would be one of the 13, but his skill deficiencies rose to the surface in the four days of tryouts. “Coach, I was really disappointed when I saw that I didn’t make the team, but I’m okay with it now.” He’s a good kid who I will have in class Monday and Tuesday for the teacher I’ll be subbing for. I told him I’d share my evaluation with him so he can work on a few things. He appreciated that. In the course of a few hours he went from taking it personally to knowing that I care about him. In regards to him, disappointment will make him stronger and cause him to work even harder.
Cutting kids is the hardest thing I do as a coach, and yet one of the most important things I do.
On Monday morning I’ll convince 13 other seventh grade boys that the world does not revolve around them either!
Categories: children, coaching, Community, Humor, Parenting, Story, Teamwork, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: Basketball, basketball coaching, coaching, cutting kids, Disappointment, making the cut, making the team, middle school, middle school boys, middle school sports, middle schoolers, not being invited, not making the team, rejection letters, Seventh Grade
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February 5, 2018
WORDS FROM W.W. February 5, 2018
My wife and I went to see the movie Wonder a few weeks ago. We found ourselves shedding a few tears during the film, which followed the story of a fifth grade boy named “Auggie” who had Treacher Collins syndrome. Because of his condition Auggie would wear an astronaut’s helmet around whenever he was in public. He dreamed of being an astronaut because in space no one sees the faces of others.
Ten and eleven year old kids can be cruel, but they can also be compassionate. Auggie experiences both ends of the pendulum as it swung from classmate to classmate.
I was deeply moved by watching the film and pondering its messages. Weeks later I’m still thinking about it!
And then Saturday morning I woke up with a rash on the side of my face that made me want to put on an astronaut’s helmet…or paper bag. By Saturday afternoon I looked like I had a huge chaw of chewing tobacco between my left cheek and gum (Not that I’ve ever done that, but I was born in Kentucky! Half the barns in the state used to have “Chew Mail Pouch” painted on one side!).
The past two days I’ve had a few “Auggie moments”. That is, I’m very self-conscious of my face and I assume that everyone I see is looking at me. There’s a sense of embarrassment tied into it. I don’t feel normal, and normal is what all of us want to be unless we’re doing something that our culture thinks is extraordinary.
Lessons are learned in the abnormal moments of life.
This afternoon middle school boy’s basketball tryouts begin. It’s my seventeenth season coaching at Timberview Middle School, and it’s the seventeenth time I will see the uncertainty of seventh and eighth grade boys as they deal with the uncomfortableness of being watched by coaches and other boys who they feel inferior to. Perhaps God gave me this rash to help me empathize with the pressures of being a twelve year old.
Actually, there’s that hint of uncertainty and inadequacy in any middle school child. With some it just might be a little deeper below the surface, but it’s there. Much of the time he or she simply stays out of situations where it has the potential to rise to the surface.
I can relate. In my few trips out in public the last three days I’ve tried to stay to the left so the left side of my face is away from people. Three months from today I’ll turn 64 and I’m still sensitive to my insufficiencies!
I’m simply a self-conscious adolescent in an elderly shell!
Categories: children, coaching, Community, Freedom, Grace, Humor, Parenting, Pastor, Story, Teamwork, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: adolescence, inadequate, Mail Pouch tobacco, middle school boys, middle school sports, middle schoolers, self-conscious, seventh graders, skin condition, skin rash, The movie Wonder, Treacher Collins syndrome, uncertainty, Wonder
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February 3, 2018
WORDS FROM W.W. February 3, 2018
Cancer has taken a number of my friends. Mike Wilcoxen sat beside me in “home room” my senior year off high school. The next year I went off to college, but Mike succumbed to cancer at the age of 18.
Jim Sweeney, Steve Shaffer, Gary Gowler, Professor Ted Hsieh…my list of cancer victims is far longer than my list of cancer survivors.
And then about fifteen months ago my friend, Greg Davis, 41 years old, passed after a six year struggle with a form of brain cancer.
And so yesterday I taught an eighth grade language arts class at the school where Greg taught social studies for fifteen years, and I wore a pink shirt with the words “Slam Dunk Cancer” on the front of it. In the midst of each class I told Greg’s story, his victories and his struggles. Each class was graciously attentive. It’s interesting that in my second class I got a bit emotional. It suddenly came upon me like a wave of emotional memories and I had to stop for a moment.
Last night at The Classical Academy (TCA) I wore that same pink shirt, but switched to a pair of blue Docker’s, and sparkling white tennis shoes. My basketball team got a kick out of it! There was a sea of pink in the bleachers last night as TCA raised funds to send the kids of cancer victims and survivors to a special camp in the summertime.
We won our freshmen boys game! In the locker room celebration afterwards I told the boys, “This is the last time I come to a game dressed by a lollipop!”
Correct that! I would do it every game if it could help someone struggling with cancer or families that are living with heightened anxiety each and every day. I miss my friend Greg. As I told my classes yesterday, I wore the pink shirt to honor him and to remember him.
Thank God no one came up to me last night and tried to lick me!
Categories: children, Christianity, coaching, Community, Death, Humor, Parenting, Pastor, Story, Teamwork, The Church, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: battling cancer, cancer, cancer awareness, cancer survivors, cancer treatment, cancer victims, Coaches vs. Cancer, eighth grade, fighting cancer, middle school, middle schoolers, Officials vs. Cancer, wearing pink
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January 31, 2018
WORDS FROM W.W. January 31, 2018
There are certain things in life that we partake of because…
Because of family tradition. Because we’ve always done it that way. Because it’s all we have. Because someone does it. Because we were told to.
For a few years at Thanksgiving I’d make oyster dressing. No one else in my household- spouse or any of the three kids- would even get close to the oyster dressing. I made it because…my mom always made it for Thanksgiving! I didn’t even realize that dressing/stuffing could be eaten without oysters! Christmas featured fruitcake. I don’t even like fruitcake, but we always had one for Christmas, so I’d munch away, pretending it was a natural act of mankind.
I acquired a taste for coffee during my last year of seminary when I decided to take a Hebrew class. Late at night Steve Wamberg, Steve Shaffer, and I would drive over to The Golden Bear restaurant, drink coffee and study Hebrew flash cards. The Hebrew never stayed with me, but the taste for coffee did. Forty years later I’ve acquired a taste for Starbucks coffee, a brew that grew on me!
In recent years I’ve acquired tastes for Brussel sprouts, yogurt, and grits. Such notions would have made me break out in fits of laughter a few years ago.
There also seems to be “acquired tastes” of cultural ideas and trends. Last year the middle school where I coach was saturated with “fidget spinners.” Spinners were those handheld devices that were held by two fingers and spun. They became a “thing” that became classroom distractions. Teachers had nightmares because of fidget spinners. When they thought of the word “annoying” a picture of a fidget spinner would pop up in their minds.
What I noticed about “acquired cultural tastes” is that people sometimes follow along and partake simply because of others. It’s simply peer pressure shaped differently. There are issues or situations where following along is a good thing, a wise thing; and there are issues and situations where following along is ludicrous.
For example, towards the end of the 1800’s the overwhelming opinion in the United States was that Chinese immigrants were to be despised and discriminated against. Many businesses and corporations had policies that prohibited the hiring of Chinese. In fact, a person would be hard pressed to find someone who was sympathetic. The government sure wasn’t! People followed along in that “acquired taste” of hate and racism.
In the turbulence of our present culture recent “acquired tastes” have included national anthem protests, reefer gladness, consuming laundry detergent pods, and openly hoping that certain elected officials meet untimely deaths. They are like opinionated tsunamis that years from now will be looked upon, like the discrimination of Chinese immigrants, as making no sense whatsoever. For now, however, like flags blowing in the wind, people wave in the direction of the spouted opinion.
If a Hollywood starlet or recording artist makes a statement in the midst of one of the many award shows on TV you can be sure that numerous people will acquire the taste of that stance soon after. I guess that sounded somewhat opinionated, didn’t it?
Well, here’s another opinion! Most acquired tastes, with the exception of Starbucks coffee, should be un-acquired!
Categories: Christianity, Community, Freedom, Nation, Parenting, Pastor, Story, The Church, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: acquired taste, agreement, Chinese immigrants, cultural trends, culture, discriminating against Chinese immigrants, fidget spinner, following along, fruitcake, grits, opinion, opinionated, oyster dressing, peer pressure, Starbucks, Starbucks coffee
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January 27, 2018
WORDS FROM W.W. January 27, 2018
I was given the opportunity yesterday to teach seventh grade Language Arts class. One hundred adolescents more excited about a weekend of doing nothing as opposed to fifty-seven minutes of literary creating and discovery!
The assignment for each period was to create a poem, based on an ancient form of Chinese poetry called “Shi” poetry. I explained the creative process to them, showed them a few examples and set them off on the road of pondering, erasing bad lines of gibberish, and creative expression.
“Mr. Wolfe, what do you think about this? “I have a flying dog who flies in the air like a pigeon.”
“Needs a bit of work!”
“Why?”
“Well, I’m not exactly sure where you’re going with this, but if you have a flying dog do you really need to repeat two words later that he flies? And, isn’t it enough to say it’s a flying dog, as opposed to comparing him to a pigeon?” He ponders, returns to his seat, and I notice he immediately flips his pencil to use the eraser.
A masterpiece just destroyed by a substitute teacher who doesn’t understand about flying dogs.
“Mr. Wolfe, what do you think about this?” He hands me his creation, which I carefully read.
“The season of winter has begin
The light will be dim…”
“Shouldn’t that word be ‘begun’?
“Well, I wanted it to rhyme with dim.”
“(Thinking the words but not saying them: Listen, Longfellow!) Begin doesn’t rhyme with dim.”
“Yes, it does…begin…dim…” He is trying to convince me that I’m in error.
“No, it doesn’t! And, anyway, you don’t need to rhyme!”
“I know, but I thought it sounded good!”
(Thinking the words again: “Well, it doesn’t!”)
There were other inspired students yesterday who impressed me with the depth of their thoughts and flow of meaning. Poems about the afterlife, death, and personal value were mixed in with other poems about chicken wings, watermelon, and having a rat for a pet.
The drudgery I sensed about the assignment was soon replaced with an excitement about personal expression. Even if the poem was about macaroni and cheese there was still a sense of pride about what had been transmitted from the pencil to the paper.
When students shared their creations they read them with smiles on their faces and the hope of recognition. When each student finished reciting we snapped our fingers together like we were beatniks from the 60’s.
A few poets may have been created in those moments yesterday, as well as visions of flying dogs who look like pigeons.
Categories: children, coaching, Humor, Parenting, Story, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: chinese culture, creating, creative, creative writing, creativity, language arts, middle school, middle school students, poems, poetry, Seventh Grade, Shi poems, substitute teacher, substitute teaching
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January 23, 2018
WORDS FROM W.W. January 23, 2018
Life is filled with those moments!
On Saturday morning I was leading a skills session for the Buddy Basketball program at my old church. The first session was for kindergarten through second graders. As I was monitoring the shooting grunts and groans before we began, one girl kept shouting at me, “Watch this! Watch this!” I watched a couple of her shots sail towards a different zip code than where the basket was located and then began looking around the gym at other small people, including my six year old granddaughter.
A minute or so later the same little girl who had been shouting at me to watch shouted, “Did you see that? Did you see that?” She had made a basket and wanted someone to recognize the impossible made possible.
The night before my wife and I had been watching the Michigan State men’s basketball team take out their frustrations on Indiana. In the midst of the game Miles Bridges had an incredible dunk over a defender, and I exclaimed to her “Did you see that?” We wore out the batteries in our remote control replaying the play so many times. It was a moment in time, for Spartan fans at least, that you want to share with others.
Yesterday morning I was substitute teaching at The Classical Academy. We had a two hour delay because of the snow and icy roads. I arrived ahead of schedule in order to make sure I understood the plan for the day. There weren’t many cars in the parking lot when I started strolling across and then…whoops! My feet launched towards the sky and my backside met the icy pavement and snow. My coffee (Kona from Buddha’s Cup in Hawaii, no less!) splattered onto the snow, creating a creamy dotted pattern. I felt my salad lunch jump around in its container, and my right hip was reminded that it’s no longer young.
And then I got to my feet and looked around asking myself, “Did anybody see that?” One of the other basketball coaches I work with did. He smiled at me, and I swore him to secrecy. “Don’t tell the freshmen basketball players!” He smiled at me again.
Sometimes we ask the question “Did anybody see that?” in hopes that our viewing audience is at least one, and wishing for more. At other times, however, we ask the same question and hope that no one but God viewed the embarrassment of the event.
Murphy’s Law says “No one will see the hole-in-one you hit because your partner is searching for his ball in the weeds!” Murphy’s Law also says “A crowd will notice when you want no one to see!”
Deep sigh!
Categories: children, coaching, Freedom, Parenting, Story, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: embarrassed, embarrassing moments, falling, falling on ice, Murphy's Law, noticing, substitute teaching, wanting, wanting to be noticed, watching
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January 19, 2018
WORDS FROM W.W. January 19, 2018
I love being a substitute teacher amongst middle school students. Each class is a new experience in “classroom culture.” It takes me about ten minutes to figure out personalities… or lack of!
Students who have me for the first time soon discover that I use sarcastic humor like sunscreen at the beach. I slap it on all over the place!
It begins with the student’s question: “Are you our sub today?”
“No. They discovered that I had never properly completed 7th Grade so I had to re-enroll for the rest of the year!”
“Seriously?”
“Would I lie to you?”
“Yes!”
“Okay! Yes, I’m your sub today.”
Or “When is Ms. So-and-So coming back?”
“She’s not!”
“What?”
“Her cover was blown. She was in the Witness Protection Program and they found her. She had to be relocated to another school in another state dealing with second graders.”
“Seriously?”
Or, a conversation that happens multiple times each day.
“Mr. Wolfe, can I go to the restroom?”
“You should be able to. You’re in seventh grade.”
Confused look. “So, can I?”
“If you can’t you’ve got some real issues.”
Starts to leave.
“Where are you going?”
“You said I could go to the restroom.” (Another student behind the student whispers: “Say ‘may I go’.”) “Oh, may I go to the restroom?”
“Yes, you may!”
“Coach Wolfe, I can’t wait for basketball to start.”
“Me either! And they finally replaced those backboards that you put cracks in last year.”
“Mr. Wolfe, why can’t we start school later, like about 10:00?
“Because you’re slow learners. It takes you longer to understand things? And wait until you get in high school and have to take calculus! You’ll have to start at 6 A.M. that semester.”
“Seriously?”
“Mr. Wolfe, I have a girlfriend.”
“Does she know it?”
“What…yes, she knows!”
“Mr. Wolfe, why do we have to go to school five days a week?”
“Because the teachers voted down going to school six days a week.”
“Seriously?”
“Would I lie to you?”
“Yes!”
“Okay! You nailed me! I have no clue!”
Yesterday’s subbing in a seventh grade classroom ended with a gratifying comment from a student.
“Mr. Wolfe, you’re the best substitute teacher ever!”
The question is…was she serious or being sarcastic?
Categories: children, coaching, Freedom, Humor, Parenting, Story, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: humor, middle school, middle school students, middle schoolers, sarcasm, sarcastic, sarcastic comments, school teachers, seventh graders, substitute teacher, substitute teaching, teachers
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January 15, 2018
WORDS FROM W.W. January 15, 2018
Recently a high school women’s basketball team in our area was beaten by 94 points. They were missing a couple of their players that day, but other defeats this season have been lop-sided as well, just not in the same zip code as 94.
In my years as a coach I’ve been on both sides of the final score…on the left side of the hyphen with a way larger number than my waist size…and on the right side of the hyphen with a digit that looks as embarrassed as a naked child in a grocery store.
One of the first games I coached was a YMCA Church League game for middle school boys. We lost 75-5 and my only player who could dribble and chew gum at the same time broke his wrist. That team struggled to score more than six points in any game for the rest of the season. One of our last games was against Bethlehem Lutheran, and their associate pastor, Noel Niemann, was also their coach. Noel knew what our team’s skill level was and he purposely had his players play a packed in 2-3 zone defense and allowed our players to shoot from the outside. They beat us 36-12, but my team was elated that the scoreboard had to use two digits to display our team’s score. That was in 1982 and I still remember Noel’s name, the score, and the sportsmanship.
I seldom see grace filter into sports these days. It’s seen as a sign of weakness. “After all,” say too many coaches, “we’ve practiced hard. Winning in a blowout is our just rewards for practicing hard!”
That argument carries only so far! Winning by a ton of points is usually fueled by a coach’s arrogance, blood-thirsty parents in the bleachers, or players who think it says something about how impressive their skill level is.
In most states high school athletes can choice into schools that ordinarily they would not be going to. Certain high schools are accumulating more than their fair share of the better players, while other schools are encountering cupboards that are bare. Mismatches are evident before the season even begins. And it will continue to be!
So whose responsibility is to be win with grace?
The opportunity to show grace begins with the coach. I use the word “opportunity” because it should be seen as such. Not a requirement, but rather a gift wrapped in the lesson of sportsmanship. Any sporting event is a venue for how we wish people would treat each other. Too often it is a place where the participants strut like peacocks and the observers say things they would not want their mothers, some already in the grave, to hear.
Grace in winning is an opportunity for a coach to teach his/her players a different lesson that is unrelated to the score. Not enough coaches seem to understand that so now there is this thing called “The Mercy Rule.” The name should be a stop sign, but, instead, it has just become a point in the game where one team is a certain number of points ahead of the other team…and mercy has gone out for coffee!
High school sports, and maybe even more than that, middle school sports, need more coaches who teach the skills of the game, but also the character that a person can have. It needs more coaches that can model for their players that winning is more than a good-looking number figure on the left side of the hyphen.
It needs more “Noel Niemann’s”!
Categories: children, Christianity, coaching, Freedom, Grace, Parenting, Pastor, Story, Teamwork, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: arrogance, blow-outs, character, coaches, coaching, defeat, gracious, loss, mercy, Mercy Rule, Noel Niemann, sportsmanship, win-loss
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January 14, 2018
WORDS FROM W.W. January 14, 2018
This past week a fast food Mexican restaurant chain in Colorado Springs announced it was closing its five stores. There were no protests, no calls to reconsider. Someone or ones had made the unfortunate decision to open each of these establishments in areas where other Mexican restaurants like Taco Bell, Chipotle, and Fuzzy’s Tacos were already established. At least three of the five restaurants were either next to or across the street from Chick-Fil-A establishments. It made me wonder if part of their business plan was to get the overflow business from Chick-Fil-A, which is always crowded!
Each store was new construction. You would think that if one store wasn’t getting business it might tend to make the company think twice before building a second store, let alone four more stores!
It reminds me of a time several years ago when I was picking up my friend, Artie Powers, at the airport. As I walked with him down to baggage claim I noticed several women were giving me looks and smiling. I thought to myself, “I must be looking good today. I am a handsome dude!” My step got a little more strut to it. As we stood by the baggage claim carousel Artie suddenly leaned over and whispered to me, “Your barn door is open!”
“What?”
“Your fly’s open!”
My sense of what was reality had been trumped by my naivety! My infatuation with my mirage of an image had blinded me to the underlying truth.
Stupidity follows closely behind in the shadow of the naive.
Solomon had a lot to say about naive stupidity. He usually summarized the person’s reputation by just calling him/her a “fool”!
“All who are prudent act with knowledge, but fools expose their folly.” (Proverbs 13:16)
That verse gave new meaning to my walking through an airport unzipped for the world to see!
There’s a difference between wise speculation and foolish schemes! Clueless fools are nearsighted in their perspective and rarely think about what’s on the other side of the hill that they can’t clearly see.
In recent years I’ve adopted a couple of principles to live by. I always check my zipper before walking through airports…and if it sounds too good to be true it probably is!
Categories: Bible, children, Christianity, Freedom, Humor, Jesus, Parenting, Pastor, Story, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: being wise, business plan, Chick-fil-A, fool, foolish, foolish decisions, foolishness, fools, influencers, naive, naivety, Proverbs 13:16, stupid, stupidity, Taco Bell, Taco Bueno, wisdom, wise, wise people
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January 10, 2018
WORDS FROM W.W. January 10, 2018
I recognize that I’m inching towards 64. Some mornings I feel more like 84, but other mornings I’m spry and ready to go! Some days I feel slammed and other days I feel like I can slam dunk!
It seems, however, that there are more things in this world that I just don’t get. When I say “don’t get” I don’t mean things like wearing bikini underwear or Flaming Hot Cheetos. I mean I don’t understand, I don’t comprehend the reason why…that kind of “getting!”
So here’s my list for the beginning of 2018 that I just don’t get!
I just don’t get why there seems to be a boatload of personal injury attorney commercials on TV every day. If I hear the nickname “The Strong Arm” one more time I’m going to injure myself!
I just don’t get, with all the concussion concerns, why football players bump helmets with teammates after a good play, especially when the 6’7” offensive lineman bumps helmets with the 5’7” guy who just kicked a fifty yard field goal!
I just don’t get why “Bobby Lee” has to weave in and out of traffic going 80 on a six lane heavily-traveled road where the speed limit is 55! Someone explain to me what driving academy taught those NASCAR methods!
I just don’t get parents who try to justify the wickedness of their kids! When their son sets the house on fire will they justify it by saying that Junior was just barbecuing?
I just don’t get worship services where I can’t hear myself sing because the volume of the onstage singer and the band is turned up so loud! (Does that sound like an old fart or what?)
I just don’t get the football player who makes one good play and poses for the cameras like he just solved the world poverty situation!
I just don’t get why the guy sitting two chairs away from me at the public library is making calls on his cell phone asking for admissions information at different institutions. When did the library become a personal phone booth?
I just don’t get sagging pants! Nuf’ said!
I just don’t get why we don’t appreciate teachers more; and, in like manner, I don’t get teachers who lose sight of the opportunity to impact the lives of their students.
I just don’t get why there’s a Starbucks every half-mile…but I appreciate it!
I just don’t get why poker is considered a sport by ESPN.
I just don’t get why so many good three-point shooters in basketball can’t hit free throws. It’s a closer and uncontested free shot, for Pete’s sake!
I just don’t get full sleeve tattoos, and why, when it’s twenty below outside, some guy will still wear a sleeveless shirt so you can see it? Yes, I am really, really old…and “un-inked!”
I just don’t get why some parents will willingly pay $100 for a professional sporting event ticket, but then complain that their kid needs $2.25 for lunch money!
I just don’t get “The Bachelor!” I’d be much more interested in a show entitled “The Pimple-Faced Short, Introverted, High School Junior Who Tries To Get A Date To the Prom!” Winner! Of course, that would be like watching a rerun of part of my own life story!
Categories: children, Christianity, coaching, Freedom, Humor, marriage, Parenting, Pastor, Story, The Church, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: 64 years old, concussions, confusion, Frank Azar, loud music, obnoxious parents, personal injury attorneys, sagging pants, school teachers, speeders, tattoos, The Bachelor, The Strong Arm, things I don't understand
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Words from WW Blog 
Substitute Teaching Sarcasm
January 19, 2018WORDS FROM W.W. January 19, 2018
I love being a substitute teacher amongst middle school students. Each class is a new experience in “classroom culture.” It takes me about ten minutes to figure out personalities… or lack of!
Students who have me for the first time soon discover that I use sarcastic humor like sunscreen at the beach. I slap it on all over the place!
It begins with the student’s question: “Are you our sub today?”
“No. They discovered that I had never properly completed 7th Grade so I had to re-enroll for the rest of the year!”
“Seriously?”
“Would I lie to you?”
“Yes!”
“Okay! Yes, I’m your sub today.”
Or “When is Ms. So-and-So coming back?”
“She’s not!”
“What?”
“Her cover was blown. She was in the Witness Protection Program and they found her. She had to be relocated to another school in another state dealing with second graders.”
“Seriously?”
Or, a conversation that happens multiple times each day.
“Mr. Wolfe, can I go to the restroom?”
“You should be able to. You’re in seventh grade.”
Confused look. “So, can I?”
“If you can’t you’ve got some real issues.”
Starts to leave.
“Where are you going?”
“You said I could go to the restroom.” (Another student behind the student whispers: “Say ‘may I go’.”) “Oh, may I go to the restroom?”
“Yes, you may!”
“Coach Wolfe, I can’t wait for basketball to start.”
“Me either! And they finally replaced those backboards that you put cracks in last year.”
“Mr. Wolfe, why can’t we start school later, like about 10:00?
“Because you’re slow learners. It takes you longer to understand things? And wait until you get in high school and have to take calculus! You’ll have to start at 6 A.M. that semester.”
“Seriously?”
“Mr. Wolfe, I have a girlfriend.”
“Does she know it?”
“What…yes, she knows!”
“Mr. Wolfe, why do we have to go to school five days a week?”
“Because the teachers voted down going to school six days a week.”
“Seriously?”
“Would I lie to you?”
“Yes!”
“Okay! You nailed me! I have no clue!”
Yesterday’s subbing in a seventh grade classroom ended with a gratifying comment from a student.
“Mr. Wolfe, you’re the best substitute teacher ever!”
The question is…was she serious or being sarcastic?
Categories: children, coaching, Freedom, Humor, Parenting, Story, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: humor, middle school, middle school students, middle schoolers, sarcasm, sarcastic, sarcastic comments, school teachers, seventh graders, substitute teacher, substitute teaching, teachers
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