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The Emerging Rude Factor

October 24, 2012

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                                October 24, 2012

 

I was driving in the downtown area today with my youngest daughter and witnessed a determined lady turning on to the street we were on and disregarding a woman and her pre-schooler crossing the street. She sped on to pursue her daily agenda items, leaving an angry mom in her wake.

But sometimes there is justice! A police cruiser saw the whole thing, turned the flashing lights on, and sped after the speeding lady.

If only it would be that way all the time!

Rudeness has made a comeback, not that it ever left. It is leaving offended people behind it as it races on. I see it at high school sporting events, not just with the students, but also with the adults. Once in a while a display of good sportsmanship emerges to the point that it is commended and put on YouTube, but those have become the exceptions and not the norm.

I see it in how young people treat older people, and how older people treat younger people.

I see it in politics, but enough of that!

I see it in how people treat someone who is overweight; and I see it in how someone who is slower than another person can tolerate.

I especially see it in driving habits.

And now I see it in Facebook posts and Twitter tweets.

I see it on t-shirts that seek to either incite, draw attention, or both.

And I see it in the church.

Rudeness has become the norm.

The thing is…there’s this list qualities and characteristics that are written down in Galatians 5 by the Apostle Paul. It’s a good list! A list that many of us would want to see lived out in our child, or the potential marriage partner that we bring home to meet Mom and Dad. It’s a list of fruits, spiritual fruits. As I look at that list- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control- each of the fruits goes sharply against rudeness in some way.

If I’m patient I won’t try to rush ahead and cut someone off.

If I’m kind I won’t look for the first opening to tear someone down.

If I’m joyful there will be no bitterness in my actions.

 

Rudeness is a slippery slope sliding towards ripped apart relationships.

And why do we give in to its lure. Because even though we don’t want to admit it, too often it is still all about you, or all about me. And if you point that out to me I may call you rude!

Categories: Christianity, Community, Freedom, Grace, love, Story, The Church, Uncategorized
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Pastor Appreciating Month

October 11, 2012

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                                 October 11, 2012

 

I’m not sure when it started, and who started it, and how it came to find a home in October, but whatever the unanswered questions are we are eleven days into Pastor Appreciation Month. On Sunday I’ll wear the tie that some of our church kids made for me last year. It’s a great tie with hand prints of each of the kids on it.

Other people over the years have sent me cards, Starbucks gift cards, restaurant gift cards, books, taken Carol and me out to dinner, and expressed their gratitude in a number of ways.

Not to be mushy, but there is the other side of the ministry. It’s the side where the pastor appreciates. It’s the side where the heart of the pastor is meshed with the congregation in a multitude of life-sharing ways, the side where the passions of the pastor are expressed and owned by the people of the Body.

The pastor appreciates a congregation where people feel comfortable enough with him to talk about their spiritual questions, as well as their faith journeys.

The pastor appreciates a congregation where people mention to him something he said in a recent sermon that hit home in an experience they had not long after that.

The pastor appreciates people who initiate hugs.

The pastor appreciates people who ask him if they can pray for him.

The pastor appreciates children who give him high fives and are disappointed if there is a Sunday when there isn’t a children’s story time during morning worship.

The pastor appreciates sitting in Starbucks with someone who just needs to talk.

The pastor appreciates a congregation where the style of music is not nearly as important as the worship of God.

The pastor appreciates a youth group that sabotages his office.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that likes his Far Side cartoons that he posts outside his office.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that is inviting…and continuing. That is, they invite someone to come to church with them, and then continue the conversation over lunch.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that comes alongside persons with mobility problems.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that recognizes that they are living the Gospel.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that wants to make a difference in the community.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that lives out grace, not just expects to receive grace.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that becomes uncomfortable with the implications of the Gospel.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that he is not motivated or manipulated by money, and yet desires to make sure he receives a fair wage.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that sees value in each person, regardless of gender, age, race, financial or marital status.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that honors his day off, and, once in a while, even forces him to take a break.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that looks for ways that they can help him become more effective as a pastor.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that affirms, but also corrects.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that moves according to the voice of God, not according to who yells the loudest.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that claps!

The pastor appreciates a congregation where coffee can be taken into the sanctuary.

The pastor appreciates a congregation that is appreciative!

And perhaps most of all, the pastor appreciates a congregation that is appreciative long after October has passed!

Categories: Christianity, Community, Grace, Jesus, love, Pastor, Story, Teamwork, The Church, Uncategorized
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The Rising Costs of Head Shaking

October 3, 2012

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                               October 3, 2012

 

Recently a news post hit my web server that left me shaking my head. A 20 year old woman in Brazil was selling her virginity to the highest bidder. I’m not sure that exactly explains what I mean, so let me put it in more explicit terms. She was going to have sex for the first time with the highest bidder. They were going to do this on an airplane in flight, due to prostitution laws in the country.

The young lady is giving a portion of the fee to a human services organization, but the vast majority of her winning bid monies is going to her. She wants to go to law school, go the funds will go to help her become a lawyer. The current high bid is $160,000.

And she isn’t the only one! Selling virginity is becoming a more popular, and lucrative venture. Reportedly a California woman is doing the same thing at a Nevada brothel. Her proposal got 10,000 hits and, although not confirmed, the bid was at $3.7 million.

Many people have come forward to question “what’s wrong with it?” It becomes a great question for a culture that stands less with the Jesus of scripture, and more with the Jesus of invention.

Morality aside, I’m etched with the question “what does Christlikeness look like?” If Jesus was walking with me through this day what would I do to please him? Are there things that I do that I’m hoping he has turned his head and not seen?

Being a follower of Christ has the constant tension involved with it of being labeled “old stuck-in-the-mud!”

So let this “stuck-in-the-mud” give equal time to the high cost of being a German Catholic. In a recent Time magazine there was a note that a resolution/policy had been adopted by the German Catholic Church that stated a 8% tithe was expected from every member to retain their membership. People who gave less would not be members in good standing with the Church.

I’m guessing that the German Catholic Church is having money problems, what with the European debt crisis and all. Giving to the church with a willing spirit has now become secondary in importance to just anteing up!

Many might say I’m taking too extremes and trying to tie in knot with them. Perhaps I am. My judgment is often suspect and flawed.

Whether it is a twenty-something selling her virginity or the church selling “member-in-good-standing”, money becomes the object that we worship. I’d dare say churches worship it, generations worship it, and even non-charitables worship it.

It has become more the necessity than the presence of God and the moving of the Spirit.

Frankly, I’d effected by it more and more. As pastor of a congregation that meets in a facility where things are starting to break down, or need to be replaced, I see the inflow of funds meeting a tidal wave of needs. Therefore, I think about how we can raise more money as much as “how can we help people grow spiritually.”

Money is the subtle influence that borders idolatry.

My cynical side wonders if there might be a Walmart German Catholic Church in the making. “What they ask 8% for we’ll give you for 6%!”

Categories: Christianity, Faith, Freedom, Grace, Jesus, love, Story, The Church, Uncategorized, Youth
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Between The “Want To” and The “Did”

September 11, 2012

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                                      September 10, 2012

In a recent Time magazine article (September 17, 2012), Doctor Oz shared some insights that he has discovered about people who want to change a certain behavior or lifestyle tendency and actually doing it! He says that when he hears the words “I know I should…” bright red flags go up.

Without getting to deep in the psychology of change, the five steps to getting unstuck are mentioned as “Pre-contemplation”; “Contemplation”; “Preparation”; “Action”; and “Maintenance”.

But Dr. Oz makes this statement in the article that needs to be trumpeted:

“Throughout time, religion has been about not just worship but also life lessons, self-improvement and redemption, with earthly accountability to the community and congregation to help keep us in line…Alcoholics Anonymous was launched in the 1930’s with a 12-step model based on the same idea.”

In other words getting from the “want to” to the “did” requires a transforming decision, and a group to hold you to it.

We call it conversion, but we also need people to have on-going conversation with about the shift in life focus. Conversion is radical enough! To repent and turn to see that you are completely alone in the next step of the journey too often results in “I know I should have” hit-the-wall moments.

Many believers try to go it alone.

It’s an unwise decision! Proverbs would probably label it as a decision made by a fool.

Adam wasn’t made to go it alone, and neither are we. (Let me clarify! That is not a reason for a single person to say “I need to go out and find a spouse!”)

Being a part of a church should offer a level of accountability. Mega-churches do many things well, but I fear the lack of accountability that many of their attenders are drawn to. To be fair, small churches have issues as well. Many times small churches have “ownership issues.” “This church has been in our family for five generations, and, dog gone it, I’m not going to just let Jesus come in and take over Lordship!”

Accountability, a band of brothers, someone to walk the road with me, is a vital part of getting from “want to” to “did.” The days of The Marlboro Man are in the past. Cigarettes kill, and spending too much time with a herd of cattle may only convert someone to being a vegan, not a surrendered follower of Jesus.

It’s interesting that the early Jesus-followers clustered together in groups and called themselves the “Body of Christ.” The Body-healthy moved together, took action, supported each other in phenomenal ways. It does something to you when you realize that some of those gathered in your group might not make it to the next Sunday. Crosses for Christians became a common theme.

“We’ll walk together all the way from the ‘want to’ to the ‘did’!

Such accountability without a doubt enabled Paul to say “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21)

 

Categories: Christianity, Community, Faith, Grace, Jesus, love, Story, Teamwork, The Church, Uncategorized
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Driving Miss Lizi

September 8, 2012

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                                  September 8, 2012

 

Several years ago there was a movie entitled Driving Miss Daisy about an elderly Jewish lady and her black chauffeur in the South, starring Jessica Tandy and Morgan Freeman. It was based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning play by Alfred Uhry.

I lived a variation of that film the past two days. It was called Driving Miss Lizi, and it was a story about a dad and his youngest daughter driving to Albuquerque and back for his daughter’s job interview and looking for an apartment.

Unlike the original Driving Miss Daisy play, this one probably won’t win any awards or be featured in the previews of upcoming movies, but it will be remembered by at least one of the main characters- me!

It included the basic details: quick bite at Arby’s in Raton, New Mexico (2 Beef and Cheddars for $5!); gas up in Bernadillo, New Mexico (I drive a hybrid! I can go a long way! My car and hold it longer than my bladder!); stay at a Senior Citizen hotel in Albuquerque (I swear there was a convention going on!); Lizi complaining about snoring; finding a Starbucks.

But what I’ll remember about the journey was the conversations, the seeking of my input about apartment possibilities, the laughter, the singing or humming along to the music on XM radio.

I’ll remember the glimpses of her mom that came out- the fears and worries, how she drives, her grace.

Sharing a journey with your child is a precious time. You wouldn’t necessarily think of driving to Albuquerque and back in a 26 hour window as precious, but it was.

Sometimes we allow our lives to get in the way with our relationships.

Too often sharing in the moment becomes secondary to the moment. For instance, how many NFL fans will become oblivious to the world and everyone else this Sunday as they sit in front of the TV? Playing video games becomes more important than who it is you are playing with. Getting the yard raked becomes more important than teaching a six year old daughter how to rake. Writing a sermon becomes more important than the people it will be preached to.

I’ve been reading through the Gospels in the past two weeks. Whereas the disciples of Jesus were usually task-oriented, Jesus had a nice mix of taking care of Kingdom work and caring for Kingdom people. He seemed to always have time for a conversation, a discussion, a walk.

I recognize that I am more like the disciples than Jesus. This evening I will probably mow the lawn because… The urgency of it will somehow center itself in my mind as the day goes on. I am task-oriented in a profession that requires work to get done, but also people to be cared for. Finding the balance is often like finding the accurate point on the weigh scale that is the balance point.

It occurs to me that driving Miss Lizi became an exceptional time because we were together in a car mostly on cruise control. Airport terminals are much more stressful…unless you fly into Huntington, West Virginia, complete with white rocking chairs.

We were in a shared, uninterrupted space. In fact, perhaps the most meaningful times I’ve had with family and friends this summer have involved driving: Going with Carol and Lizi to Telluride; driving with Carol to Vail; and driving on-road and off with the group of young guys I lead to a remote camping spot so off the beaten path that even wild animals can’t find it.

In another month or so I’ll make another trip with Lizi and Carol to the same city in New Mexico. This time, however, Carol and I will return without her.

There will be tears…and Carol won’t let me stop at Long John Silver’s!

Categories: Christianity, Community, Faith, Grace, Humor, Jesus, love, Parenting, Story, The Church, Youth
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Springing Hope

September 4, 2012

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                              September 4, 2012

Carol and I went to see “Hope Springs” last night. I saw a couple of aunts and uncles from my past in it. It was amusing…and too close to home! It made me ask the uncomfortable question “Is that us?”

If you haven’t seen the movie it is about a couple who have been married for 31 years. They have become…predictable…and emotionally distant even though they live in the same house. It’s the residue of time and routine that have swallowed up their love. The love is there, but it takes an incredible amount of guided effort to rediscover it.

Enough of the plot. I chuckled a lot during the film because I saw people that have been a part of my journey and upraising, but also I saw myself.

There are weeks that come and go as unsurprising as a farm tractor cultivating a corn field row by row. A surprise might be brussel sprouts at dinner, or, this year, a cool day in the summer.

But…I have to say this…there is also some comfort in the predictability. It is comforting to know that some things don’t change. Carol tells me that my color selection in what I’m wearing is not good. She also knows that Saturday nights are usually restricted times as I struggle with finishing up the Sunday sermon. I know that she enjoys playing “Spades” on-line. A pause in a phone conversation with her is a hint that she is in the midst of a tight game. She knows that I snore and has the freedom to kick me in the middle of the night. Bruises on my body are not a sign of spousal abuse, but rather a night of deep sleep and kicks with more effort behind them. One of us often ends up in the middle bedroom because of restlessness, snoring, intestinal issues, back pain, or trying to finish a book before sleep enters the picture. I am moved by how she engages and cares for kids. She is thrilled by former players that I’ve coached who come up to me in a store, or on the street, and initiate a conversation.

There is a routine in our lives that is good, even as we search for new opportunities. This summer we took a two day vacation. I know…I know…two days…ooo, big spender! But it was a great two days. We went to Vail and just relaxed, walked, explored, rested, ate, slept. Two days was too short, but it was good!

And then it was back to our routine.

We have a good life, a blessed life! It is filled with random moments of the touch of God, the soothing of our souls.

It’s things like our grand-daughter, Reagan, chasing our frazzled cat, Princess Malibu, around the house like a greased watermelon that is never quiet in the grasp. It’s taking Carol with me whenever I have clothes to buy, or never questioning the hint of going with her because dress shirts are on sale at Dilliards’s. It’s being comfortable with the fact that “if it’s cooked on the grill” it’s my job, and if it’s cooked in the oven it’s her domain. It’s helping her step down from the terraced garden in our backyard. It’s telling her what is going on in a ball game because her eyesight is not good.

I suppose you could say that there is a rhythm in our routine, a sense of feeling so fortunate in the midst of all the ways we have been blessed.

I know that I am not James Bond, but I also want to be a little bit to the left of my dearly departed Uncle Milliard.

A little adventure while I stand watering the front yard.

Tonight I’m going to take my bride of thirty-three years for a walk.

Maybe we’ll even hold hands…as we’re in the crosswalk!

Categories: Christianity, Faith, Grace, Humor, love, marriage, Parenting, Story, Teamwork, Uncategorized
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No Shoes In the Mall

December 24, 2011

WORDS FROM W.W. December 24, 2011

It was a strange scene, hundreds of people standing outside the mall at a quarter to twelve midnight. Perhaps a celebrity was showing up, or the line to see Santa was so long that people were still waiting hours after the mall had closed.
But a closer look indicated that it was neither of those. The new retro Air Jordan athletic shoes were going on sale. I don’t remember there being lines back in the early seventies for “Chuck Taylor’s” when they went on sale, although I do remember wearing them until they were literally in shreds. No wonder we couldn’t jump in those days! We didn’t have any rubber left on the bottom of our shoes!
The scene was chaos as doors opened, got busted off their hinges and crowds of people ran frantically into the shoe store, only to have most of them be disappointed with the news “No shoes in the Mall!”

Even the fortunate ones who did get the precious pairs included very few people who actually needed a pair of shoes. Comments could be heard:

“I’m putting my pair on eBay for double the price!”

“I’m going to hold on to my pair for a couple of years and then make a mint off of them!”

“I’m just going to keep mine in the box, wrap it up in protective plastic wrap, and watch the value go up. Believe me! No one is going to take down the value of these shoes by actually wearing them!”
What to do? A crisis had emerged. Johnny Junior’s quest for a college scholarship and a lucrative professional contract someday was in jeopardy because there were no AJ’s to be had. Parents explained the repercussions of this shortage to store innkeepers, but to no avail. The only advice they received was “You might try the clearance rack over there. I think we have some old black high-top Converses. They aren’t as flashy, but they still fit feet.”
Some parents became adamant about the store producing more shoes, while others just walked away with downcast expressions. But one young boy found the clearance rack, noticed a brand spanking new pair of old Chuck Taylor’s and shouted out “I found my shoes!”
While others trampled on one another, pushed, punched, and pepper-sprayed, he walked out of the mall with his mom and dad, content, excited, and ready to lace them up!

Categories: children, Christianity, Christmas, Faith, love, Parenting, Story, Uncategorized, Youth
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