WORDS FROM W.W. February 22, 2020
The class was about to begin and I was fiddling with my laptop, trying to get a connection with the classroom projector. (Using the term “fiddling” is a hint of my advanced age. It’s not often associated with computers and other technology.) I finally am able to display the image from my laptop to the screen at the front of the classroom, and then the question is asked.
“Your first name is…William?” There’s a tone of disbelief in how he asks it, turning his head from side to side looking at the screen and then back at me sitting behind my desk.
“What?” I ask, not sure what he’s getting at.
“It says your first name is William.”
I stare at the screen and then notice in the upper right hand corner that my name appears on the slide I’m projecting: William Wolfe.
“Yes, it is,” I say with a calmness.
“I didn’t know that was your first name!”
“What, did you think my first name was Mister or Coach?”
“No, but I didn’t think it was William!” He draws out the pronunciation of the seven letters like a bungee cord. “Why is it William?”
“That’s like asking why the sky is above us?”
“I just never thought…you’d be William!”
He walks away amazed and dazed. Kids are often perplexed when their teachers are possessors of “normal things”, like hiking boots, trumpets, contact lenses that never get worn in the classroom, and families. They’ve associated their teachers with a classroom, a school, and an academic routine.
Suddenly, they meet their science teacher in the produce section of the local supermarket and their life equilibrium is thrown off. As Ms. Brown is checking out the peaches they stand there perplexed and, depending on the teacher, happy. Their teacher is being seen in another place! The student has a sudden release of endorphins that tells him he has been blessed in some odd way.
My oldest daughter, who teaches third grade, experiences this quite often when she goes to the mall and sees one of her students. It’s like a rare bird sighting for the youngster. Mrs. Hodges actually goes shopping!
My student remains amazed for the first few minutes of our class period together. It’s almost like his teacher is…human!
Words from WW Blog 
Substitute Teaching Sarcasm
January 19, 2018WORDS FROM W.W. January 19, 2018
I love being a substitute teacher amongst middle school students. Each class is a new experience in “classroom culture.” It takes me about ten minutes to figure out personalities… or lack of!
Students who have me for the first time soon discover that I use sarcastic humor like sunscreen at the beach. I slap it on all over the place!
It begins with the student’s question: “Are you our sub today?”
“No. They discovered that I had never properly completed 7th Grade so I had to re-enroll for the rest of the year!”
“Seriously?”
“Would I lie to you?”
“Yes!”
“Okay! Yes, I’m your sub today.”
Or “When is Ms. So-and-So coming back?”
“She’s not!”
“What?”
“Her cover was blown. She was in the Witness Protection Program and they found her. She had to be relocated to another school in another state dealing with second graders.”
“Seriously?”
Or, a conversation that happens multiple times each day.
“Mr. Wolfe, can I go to the restroom?”
“You should be able to. You’re in seventh grade.”
Confused look. “So, can I?”
“If you can’t you’ve got some real issues.”
Starts to leave.
“Where are you going?”
“You said I could go to the restroom.” (Another student behind the student whispers: “Say ‘may I go’.”) “Oh, may I go to the restroom?”
“Yes, you may!”
“Coach Wolfe, I can’t wait for basketball to start.”
“Me either! And they finally replaced those backboards that you put cracks in last year.”
“Mr. Wolfe, why can’t we start school later, like about 10:00?
“Because you’re slow learners. It takes you longer to understand things? And wait until you get in high school and have to take calculus! You’ll have to start at 6 A.M. that semester.”
“Seriously?”
“Mr. Wolfe, I have a girlfriend.”
“Does she know it?”
“What…yes, she knows!”
“Mr. Wolfe, why do we have to go to school five days a week?”
“Because the teachers voted down going to school six days a week.”
“Seriously?”
“Would I lie to you?”
“Yes!”
“Okay! You nailed me! I have no clue!”
Yesterday’s subbing in a seventh grade classroom ended with a gratifying comment from a student.
“Mr. Wolfe, you’re the best substitute teacher ever!”
The question is…was she serious or being sarcastic?
Categories: children, coaching, Freedom, Humor, Parenting, Story, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: humor, middle school, middle school students, middle schoolers, sarcasm, sarcastic, sarcastic comments, school teachers, seventh graders, substitute teacher, substitute teaching, teachers
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