WORDS FROM W.W. July 13, 2016
(Parts 1-3 of this ongoing conversation can be viewed at “wordsfromww.com”)
I brought the cup with a new rising of steam back to the table and sat back down in my chair. “You didn’t need anything?” I asked Jesus.
“No, I’m fine.”
“Where were we?”
“You were looking inside of yourself and making a discovery. You said you believe that at the core of your being is the longing to be loved.”
“Yes, I’m not sure that is my final answer, but I think that hits on it. I long to be loved.”
“So what do you think that means?”
“I think it means I have a need to be seen as a person of value, to be appreciated, and to belong.”
“And on the other side of things, perhaps you do not want to be considered worthless, cast aside, and hated.”
“I guess that is a fair summary.”
“And in saying you long to be loved…you have hit on what is at the core of most people.”
“Do I get a gold star or a tall trophy?”
“No, but you do get to come to that point of understanding that may help you as you journey forward.”
“A trophy would help me remember more.”
“Sorry!”
“But go back to what you said a few minutes ago. Authenticity is the convergence of who I am with who people say I am.”
“Right.”
“There are a few people that I know who don’t really care for me. How does that play out with who I am?” If I have a longing to be loved, why don’t I get along with everyone?”
“A simple answer…because of the fallen nature of the world. Perfection in our relationships went out the window with the arrival of sin.”
“And a more complicated answer?”
“You’re screwed up most of the time.”
“Thanks! That doesn’t sound complicated, that sounds harshly matter-of-fact!”
“Well, you see, Bill, that longing to be loved that is at the core of who you are, often gets pushed to the side by the longing to be right. Being right carries a spirit of superiority in its backpack.”
“But what if I am right and the other person is blatantly wrong? Am I to just ignore what is wrong?”
“No and yes!”
“Don’t give me that, Jesus. Didn’t you once say “Let your yes be yes and your no be no?”
“Glad to see you’re familiar with my sayings. What I’m saying is that when there is a wrong the righting of the disagreement should be the healing of the relationship, not one person being superiorly right and the other being humiliatingly wrong. Ever had a disagreement with your wife?”
“Sure, many times over!”
“Do you remember the resolving of the disagreement and what happened?”
“Yes, I usually gave into her.”
“I doubt that. Do you remember a time when the two of you were in different corners of an issue and you came together to a common understanding, compromise, or even a place of forgiveness?”
“Yes, I remember a time when I said something to her that was totally insensitive and she lashed out at me.”
“And what happened?”
“I apologized.”
“But there was something else that happened in the midst of that. You sensed that you had wounded her deeply. She has a need to be loved just as you do, and you knew that you had bruised her at the core of her being.”
“You’re right! I was ashamed of what I had said, and I longed to turn back time for a few minutes and have the scene played out in a completely different way.”
“You longed to make the relationship whole again, didn’t you?”
“Absolutely! And after I apologized about what I had done to her I just wanted to hold her.”
“You longed to be loved by your lover again.”
“And that’s why that moment stands out in my mind so clearly. I remember that coming back together, that reconnecting after the forgiveness and healing…the grace she showed me that was not deserved.”
“But what if the other person is blatantly wrong. You said not to ignore it.”
“I did.” He looked at me with a hint of sadness and paused.
(TO BE CONTINUED)
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