Archive for the ‘Parenting’ category
September 14, 2015
WORDS FROM W.W. September 14, 2015
“Being The Adult…Grandparent!
Today is National Grandparent’s Day. I’m looking for discounts in different restaurants, but I’m not finding any. Obviously, grandparenting is seen as being a cake walk! Those in charge of making those determinations haven’t met my grandkids. The two older ones ask me questions that I can’t answer…and now run faster than I can! The youngest grandchild is still intellectually understandable.
She’s five months old!
Last Thursday, Reagan, my four year old granddaughter, had me come to “Grandparent’s Day” at her Pre-K class designed for four year olds. She showed me the ropes.
“Follow me, Granddad!”
Like a lamb being led to slaughter…
She showed me her play areas, her creative stations, where she sits for large group time, and where she hangs her backpack. Whenever I would ask a dumb question she would roll her eyes at me…kind of like her mom used to do about two decades ago when she was a teenager.
Reagan is a four year old teenager!
She handed me her latest art creation, little pieces of paper fitted together into a heart shape with the words at the bottom “I Love You To Pieces!”
It’s now taped to the wall behind my desk at the office. There’s more than one place like the refrigerator to hang artwork from grandchildren!
Reagan escorted me to the outdoor play area and talked to me through a long tube…the modern version of two tin cans and string!
The teachers assembled the grandparents together and read a book to us as our grandkids stood guard. The book was insightful…How To Babysit Your Grandma. Reagan had committed it to memory. I’m looking forward to seeing her put the principles into practice next time she has Grammy flat on her back.
At the end of Grandparents morning, which, by the way, was only thirty minutes long, Reagan took me out to lunch. She offered to pay, but I told her to put her two little silver coins away and I’d take care of it.
It was a good time, a good connecting, and, in my granddaughter’s opinion, I behaved okay!
Categories: children, Grace, Humor, love, Parenting, Story, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: four year olds, Grammy, grandchildren, granddaughters, grandparenting, grandparents, How to Babysit Your Grandma, National Grandparents Day, Parenting, pre-kindergarten, pre-school
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September 7, 2015
WORDS FROM W.W. September 7, 2015
This past weekend a high school football official was blind-sided by one player and then speared by another during a game in Texas. Video footage of the incident quickly hit social media. A few moments before that two other players on the same team had been ejected. An investigation has been started.
Accusations began flying about what the official had done to precipitate such an attack, as if it made the actions justified. From the video it is apparent that the backsode collision was not an “oops” moment. In fact, it looks like the two players planned the attack and carried it out to perfection.
A few years ago at a high school basketball game in our area a parent bit one of the officials as he was leaving the court. Recently a soccer official of a men’s recreation league game…let me say that again…a men’s recreation league game, was killed as a result of being attacked a over-the-hill soccer player.
Having refereed high school basketball for thirteen years I know that the people in stripes don’t do it for the money. In our area a varsity game official gets $52. That $52 has been preceded by meetings, referee camps, clinics, rules meetings, and area meetings. Put all that together and it comes to a little less than minimum wage.
Some people argue that where there is competition there inevitably will be high emotions and intense reactions. Once again we rack up the list of excuses for people to act like lunatics.
I play hoop still, at sixty-one…and a half…at the local YMCA at 6:00 in the morning. Almost all of us have to go to work afterwards, but there have been a few guys who think it is the difference between life and death.
There’s been a few guys who have been ushered out of the gym. Our sarcastic sides tell those who have lost their grip on reality that there is are calls for them in the lobby from the Nuggets front office.
But then there are those who play for the fun of it, for the recreation, and laughter. Most of us know that we are has-beens or never-was’s…and we are okay with that. We go home to families who live us despite our lack of having a left hand and being a step slow on defense.
People need to be more like Mayberry, pretend that Floyd has a basketball court behind his barber shop or football field across the street.
When two high school players plan a team attack against a man with a whistle looking the other way it’s time to step back and ask ourselves what is going on?
Categories: children, Parenting, Story, Teamwork, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: Basketball, cheap shots, football officials, losing perspective, old guys playing hoop, out-of-balance, sportsmanship, Texas high school football, YMCA
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September 6, 2015
WORDS FROM W.W. September 6, 2015
There are certain events in life that leave us gasping for breath. Not “take your breath away”, but rather struggling to take the next breath.
In recent weeks I’ve had several people that I’ve known for years experience loss or sorrow that is so overwhelming that it is beyond words, and numbing to emotions.
When loss comes close to us we walk the valley of the shadow of death that seems to have no end. There is darkness ahead and memories behind.
Three of my former classmates at Judson College experienced this yesterday. One of them was my first roommate at the college; his first wife a good friend of mine; and her second husband my cross-country teammate and guy that I would “hang out with.” Their daughter and step-daughter was killed in a head-on car collision this weekend. What can you say to someone that experiences the tentacles of loss wrapped so tightly around their lives that their souls gasp in agony? There is nothing you can say to tell them it will be okay…because it won’t be okay!
When loss comes close it is a pain that keeps stabbing. Each Christmas it pricks the memories of the mind, the remembering of days gone by, the tragedy of a future forfeited.
Followers of Jesus are the worst at walking with someone who is grieving…and also the best. We sometimes convey trite spiritually-sounding words like “She’s in a better place!” and “All things work for good!” But we also are prone to “be with’ the grieving…just to be…to mourn with the mourners and walk silently with those who are hearing the loud aches of loss.
When loss comes close we come to know in a very intimate personal way the reality of David’s words “I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When i was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted. I remembered you, O God, and I groaned; i mused, and my spirit grew faint.” (Psalm 77:1-3, NIV)
Interestingly enough, yesterday we had a call from Colorado Springs Police Department. My wife carol could not get to the phone before the call ended, and the CSPD did not leave a message. She immediately called me and I called the police department to see what the call was about. As soon as Carol ended her call to me she went to her knees in prayer. Her thoughts were about one of our children and grandchildren. Had something happened? As I called the police department my hands were shaking. When I finally got someone on the line she told me it was concerning an elderly person who had gone missing from an eldercare place close to us.
But our thoughts were of the closeness of loss!
My friends are experiencing the closeness of loss that will change their lives forever…and I weep with them!
Categories: Bible, children, Christianity, Death, Faith, Jesus, love, Parenting, Pastor, Prayer, Story, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: dying, grief, grieving, heartache, loss, mourning, Psalm 77, sorrow, tragedy
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August 12, 2015
WORDS FROM W.W. August 12, 2015
What is a hymn?
How you answer that question may actually say something more about your age…or lack of…than anything else.
If you answered that question with responses such as “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God”, “In the Garden”, or “Blessed Assurance”, chances are you are over fifty years old.
“If you answered that question with such songs/hymns “Blessed Assurance” (again), “Majesty”, and “Pass It On”, you are probably under fifty by a few years or a couple of decades.
Why would I say such a thing? I hear quite often from the senior folk of my congregation the desire to sing more hymns. We try to balance our worship between hymns and praise songs. Recently, however, a revelation occurred to one of our musical members when she was talking about what hymns are. The younger folk she was in conversation with thought that a hymn was any song in our current hymnal…which includes each of the songs I listed in both sets of responses above.
That makes sense, in that they are in the…hymnal! But those who have been around for a few years would tell you that “Majesty” is not a hymn because…it just isn’t!
It speaks to the fact that any church that is a mixture of ages will have situations occur where people assume they are speaking about the same thing, but they really aren’t. It’s a cultural disconnect in the church.
When I was growing up and someone was asked whether they went to church the answer would be “yes” if they were there every Sunday. Some might even have said yes because in their thinking being a part of a church meant you were there every Sunday morning and evening, and every Wednesday night.
If that same question is asked today the answer could be yes, but the determining criteria for the one who answers is completely different. If a person attends Sunday worship once a month he characterizes that sa being intimately involved in his church. The typical church member now attends Sunday worship 1 to 2 times a month, whereas in my young days it was 3 to 4 times a month.
It is the same topic…are you very involved in your church’s ministry…but the definition of “very involved” is seen different.
What happens too often is that people, fallen in nature, misread other people they never discover are speaking the same language in different ways. Instead of grace entering into the conversations sometimes suspicion and presumptions become the gap fillers.
The challenge for any church is creating that environment where people can hear those who are different than they are, while also feeling like they are also being understood.
Categories: Bible, children, Christianity, Community, Grace, Parenting, Pastor, Story, Teamwork, The Church, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: church attendance, hymnal, hymns, language, Pass It On, praise songs, speaking the same language
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July 31, 2015
WORDS FROM W.W. July 31, 2015
As a high school basketball coach and a middle school football coach I am around adolescent athletes a good bit each week. I love relating to them, seeing them create life-long friendships with teammates, and improving on their skills and understanding of the sport they are competing in.
There is growing concern about a multitude of things related to middle school and high school sports. “Helicopter parents” is a new term that is used to describe parents who are always hovering over their children to make sure that the coaches are seeing that the next Peyton Manning is right there on their football field in a twelve year old body.
We also have the “transfer craze”, where athletes are changing schools because School A has a better team than School B, plus the attached thought process that says, “I’ll have a better chance of getting a college scholarship if I play for School A!”
Helicopter parents spend unbelievable amounts of money to have Johnny play for a club basketball team, go to several basketball camps, and outfit him with gear that an NBA player would wear…because if Johnny is going to play for Kansas, or UConn, or UCLA someday he’d better get started now.
And so grade-school boys are treated like celebrities and middle school girls start walking with swaggers because their lives are consumed with playing a sport…one sport…year-round…too excess, but nothing is too excess in the eyes of their parents.
We cut out the years of their lives where they can just be kids, playing whiffle ball in the backyard with the neighbor kids, catching fireflies at night, and having a sleep-over in the home-made tent in the basement made out of bed sheets and blankets and propped up by chairs. We eliminate the need for kids to just be kids, like it’s a wasted period to be avoided like acne, and we rush them into being grown-ups who haven’t reached puberty yet.
But the tragedy in addition to that is that when you don’t let kids grow into their lives it’s like cutting off a body part that will hinder them in some way at some time. Johnny gets to his junior year in high school and is sick of his sport, and he’s angry with his parents for making him play it excessively. Brenda’s knees ache all the time to the point that Motrin is her best friend. Tim thinks he’s a loser simply because he is very athletic, and his parents have told him he should be with all the money they’ve spent on him over the years. Judy can’t stand being around her dad because all he ever talks to her about is volleyball.
A life rule that we just can’t seem to remember is everything in moderation! Excess does not lead to success! In fact, more often than not, excess is the curb on the road to sadness.
In a few days my wife and I are having a cook-out for all the girls I coached for five years in high school. We will talk about some of the games, and a couple of our opponents, but we will mostly talk about what is going on in their lives now, the meaningful team bonding experiences they had, and the former teammate that passed away a couple of months ago. It will be a gathering of young ladies who have moved on in life and are understanding that the most important things do not have to include a round 28.5 inche basketball!
Categories: children, Freedom, Parenting, Story, Teamwork, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: Basketball, club sports, Everything in moderation!, excess, excessive, helicopter parents, high school ports, high school transfers, middle school, middle school sports, moderation, one sport athletes, team, team-bonding, whiffle ball
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July 26, 2015
WORDS FROM W.W. July 26, 2015
This morning in worship I told the story of Legion from the Gospel of Mark. I was led to do two things this morning that I hoped the congregation caught. So often we tell the story from the view of outside eyes and distant ears. We minimize its relevance to our lives by speaking about it as if we are in the balcony.
So this morning I told the story and brought the congregation into it by referring to them as the people of Gerasena where the demon-possessed man was from. I came at it from the perspective of the congregation being the ones who drove off the man to the tombs. We went through the life stages. I admit that I envisioned the man’s childhood…the beginning signs of a troubled mind and spirit, the increasing tension in the city whenever he was around people, the heartbreak of his parents in knowing they couldn’t make him better. I led us through the story carefully, drawing in the emotions that we felt as Legion became more apparent.
The second thing I did was use the pronoun “we” instead of “you.” In fact, I only used “you” once and that was towards the end of the story in asking the worshipers “You remember, don’t you?”
I did not preach at, but rather included myself as one of the Gerasenes. I was simply the one who was re-telling the story about us.
I’m sure if I looked back through my old sermon manuscripts I would be embarrassed by the number of times I preached to “them”, heaping accusations and a John the Baptist call to repent! In my elderly state I’m acutely aware of my need for the grace of God in the midst of my blunders and shortcomings.
And so I preach more and more about us.
I don’t know if those who journeyed with me this morning noticed the different perspective of things. I was not driven from the sanctuary like the man was driven from the town. I noticed, however, that some of the usual slumbering saints had their eyes open throughout.
That in itself is somewhat of a miracle!
Categories: Bible, children, Christianity, Community, Death, Faith, Grace, Jesus, Parenting, Pastor, Story, The Church, Uncategorized
Tags: congregation, demons, Legion, Mark 5, Preaching, preaching the Word, Story, storytelling
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July 10, 2015
WORDS FROM W.W. July 10, 2015
Dear Parental Units,
Just kidding, Mom and Step-dad! I want you to know that I love you…I really do! My week at camp is almost over, and I’ve made some great new friends. My counselor has been incredible as she has allowed me to ask her hard questions, but she’s also been there to listen to my confusion.
I’ve learned a lot about faith and trusting this week. This morning we got up WAY TOO EARLY and climbed to the top of the peak behind our camp. I didn’t like the getting up early part, and there were a few times during our climb that I wasn’t sure I’d be able “to get up!”…but I made it And a big reason I was able to make it was because of the support and encouragement of everyone else who was climbing with me. When my thigh muscles were about to explode I got a pat on the back from my counselor and a hand from another counselor helping me make the next really big step.
It made me realize how important it is to have “solid friends.” I say solid because some of my friends back home stand on shaky ground, and they are more like the wind that blows in and out of my life.
When I come back home on Saturday could I ask something of you? I’ve decided to become a follower of Jesus this week. That’s probably something you were hoping for, but I hope you understand that it doesn’t mean I’m going to be all perfect and always doing the right thing. I’m going to mess up royally, and I’m not going to suddenly understand high school calculus just because I’m following Jesus!
But this thing I need to ask you…would you help me in this faith walk? Maybe that sounds weird, but it’s kind of like that climb this morning. I need your support and encouragement to keep going…a helping hand when I’m having those moments when I’m about to tip backwards. I know you go to church and help out in different ways, and I appreciate that more now than I did before this week at camp.
But…I’m sorry to start so many sentences with but…but I need to know that your faith in Jesus is real! I’m not saying it isn’t…but I need you to tell me every once in a while that it is…that it isn’t just something we do because we’ve done it that way for so long.
Even though I like my space from time to time from you, I need you to lead me, to help me deal with my questions about why God does certain things…what happens when I pray and when I don’t pray…help me figure out what God wants me to do in life, what my purpose is?
I hope I’m making sense. My counselor isn’t even making me write this. I’m doing this on my own! If Jesus was thinking of me when he went to the cross I want to try to think a good bit more about them in these coming days.
Thanks for being my mom and step-dad! I know you don’t have perfect lives, but I know you love me deeply…and you paid for me to come to camp!
Can’t wait to see you!
Your daughter!
Categories: Bible, children, Christianity, Community, Faith, Humor, Jesus, Parenting, Story, The Church, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: church camp, Conversion, Encouragement, help, mentoring, senior high church camp, Transformation
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July 9, 2015
WORDS FROM W.W. July 9, 2015
Dear Mom and Dad,
Camp is a lot of fun! I wish it wouldn’t be ending on Saturday, but I know you miss me and want me to come home…and I’m okay with that! I’ll probably sleep about twenty-four hours straight because I’m really tired. Our counselor, Mr. Bob, snores at night so it’s hard to get much sleep. He’s nice, though! Yesterday I forgot to bring my money to Canteen…that’s the camp name for “7-11!” It’s got all those things that you don’t want me to eat or drink right before dinner…except Slurpies! Anyway, he bought me a Creamsicle and we talked about my favorite subject in school…gym class…and what the best part of camp has been. Last night when Mr. Bob snored like there’s no tomorrow I was more okay with it.
The food here isn’t as good as the food you fix at home, Mom! But the good thing is that I think your food will taste even better after I get home…even your meatloaf!
I’ve made a new best friend. His name is Jimmy. He is from the big city and had darker skin then me. I was talking to him about our farm, and can you believe this…he’s never even been on a farm, and has only seen pictures of pigs! He didn’t even know that bacon comes from pigs in a round-about way. He lives in a really tall apartment building that has twenty floors, and he’s on the seventeenth floor! I can’t imagine that! I asked him what happens if someone falls out of the window, and he said that they have windows that don’t open! That is some kind of craziness right there! He’s a really nice boy the same age as me. Sometime I hope he can come visit us on the farm and see a real pig.
You would like this! Everyday after lunch we have to take a nap. They call it “FOYB!” that means “flat on your back!” I’m okay with it since Mr. Bob’s snoring cuts out some of our sleep time during the night. For some reason he never seems to snore during FOYB!
A couple of days ago I got to go down a zip line! That was so much fun! They make you wear this helmet and this thing that kind of looks like a women’s girdle I think, but then you go down this cable really fast! I think we should put one up in the barn after I get home. Dad, you wouldn’t have to go down the ladder from the hay loft anymore. You could get down a lot faster and that way get your work done faster! I’ll help!
The pastor here this week is really cool. He’s not even old, like all the pastors I’ve ever met in my life. He was talking to us about trusting in Jesus. I had never heard it put exactly the way he said it. Let me try to explain it to you: Jesus loves me even though I don’t always do the right thing or make the right choice. That was pretty cool! So Mom, even though I don’t always clean my room, or remember to clean it, Jesus still loves me! Can you believe that?
Last night we were sitting around the campfire singing songs that I’m still learning the words for, and the camp pastor said that if anyone would live Jesus to live within their heart all that needed to happen was reciting this prayer that he prayed. I don’t exactly remember how the prayer went, but I said it. I don’t exactly understand how Jesus came into my heart, but I started crying into my sweater sleeve. I told Mr. Bob about it right before lights out and he said that I needed to talk to you and our pastor after I get back home.
I’d better stop writing so I can get this letter in the mail. There was one girl who was interested in me, but I told her I was too young to date. She was disappointed, so I tried to be nice. So I said, “Maybe next year at camp!” I will need you to help me figure out what to say to her at camp next year.
Your Son,
Joey Smith
Categories: Bible, children, Christianity, Faith, Grace, Humor, Jesus, love, Parenting, Story, The Church, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: camp, church camp, FOYB, gospel, invitation, Salvation
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June 26, 2015
WORDS FROM W.W. June 26, 2015
My good friend, Steve Wamberg, and I were sharing over coffee this morning about our grandkids. Steve has a four month old and my quiver is almost full with three. Grandparenting is exciting, and an excellent source for new sermon material.
Steve made the revealing statement that Facebook has become an excellent way of checking in to see how the grandkids are doing. Everyday…multiple times…my daughter and his son post pictures, videos, updated news, Christmas gift lists, and if all the grandkids are healthy that day on their Facebook pages. It’s like we can watch our grandkids grow up without being helicopter grandparents.
This morning I watched my newest grandchild, Corin Grace Hodges, talking to a stuffed animal that was dangling in front of her face. Last Sunday when she was dedicated in our morning worship service a posted picture on Facebook showed the displeasure of Corin’s big sister, Reagan, as I was saying the dedication prayer. Reagan likes to pray, and she was borderline pouting that I was leading it instead of her.
I’ve watched my grandson Jesse’s mugging of another boy in the midst of a Buddy Basketball game from last season. Jesse might tell you that he got all ball, which he did! The problem is he also got both arms and a couple of ribs with it!
Steve and I see Facebook grandparenting as being almost like a monitor camera in our grandkids’ lives that we can look in on. “What’s Jesse up to, I wonder?” Click…oh he’s reading Charlotte’s Web! Awesome!”
Understand that Facebook grandparenting will never replace face-to-face and sitting-on-lap grandparenting, but it does keep us in the loop without being a pest.
In a couple of weeks I’ll be baptizing Jesse on a Sunday morning. I’m sure it will hit Facebook within ninety minutes of the event…and I’ll watch it and watch it. But even more awesome is the fact that our families in Illinois, Arizona, Georgia, Ohio, and Kentucky will be able to view it. call it Facebook “Uncle-ing” and “Aunt-ing” and other family relative terms.
And just so you know…Reagan said the prayer before lunch last Sunday. She was quick on the draw and left me in the dust. She’s a sly one! I have Facebook videos to attest to it!
Categories: children, Christianity, Community, Humor, Jesus, love, Parenting, Pastor, Prayer, Story, Teamwork, The Church, Uncategorized
Tags: baby, Facebook, family pictures, family videos, grandchild, grandchildren, grandparenting, grandparents, helicopter parenting, praying
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June 25, 2015
WORDS FROM W.W. June 25, 2015
Somewhere in eastern Kansas (Lawrence) a young lady with very short blonde hair has her feet up in the air right now. Allison Perrine is bicycling, along with about 30 other college-aged young adults, four thousand miles across the country, from Baltimore to San Francisco, in seventy days.
I’ve been following her journey as it has progressed. Carol and I supported it financially a few months ago when she was in the midst of trying to raise $4,000. Today I noticed she was $83 away from having raised $22,000. The funds aren’t being used for late-night runs to Sonic or daily living expenses. Allison is raising funds for young adult cancer awareness, patient navigation, and support groups.
Today would have been the 48th birthday for Allison’s mom, Becky. Becky passed away from cancer in October of 2011. Becky was my secretary for the last few years of my pastorate at First Baptist Church in Mason, Michigan. Allison was a quiet little blonde-haired girl who always looked terrified by me. Perhaps since my last name was Wolfe she thought I was big and bad. These days Allison is not quiet any more, but she is also anything but timid. Her mom has been the inspiration behind her journey, and she has persevered through a lot of obstacles.
In eight days (July 3) Carol and I get to meet up with Allison in Fort Morgan, Colorado. We are excited to see the girl who has grown up into being an exceptional young lady. I’m sure I’ll have tears banging on my eyes to get out as I see the image of her mom shining through her.
Before she started on this journey, Allison got her beautiful long hair shaved off to help in another way. I’ve noticed from the pictures on her daily blog post that it’s grown back to being just a little longer than stubble.
Many of us are traumatized by the tragedies that jolt our lives. We give up, looked stunned, and choose isolation. Allison chose to keep on keeping on. She chose to persevere. On her mom’s birthday she wrote the address of her mom’s favorite bible verse on her leg…Joshua 1:9, which says “Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
If you would like to follow Allison’s blog you can go to:
Www.4kforcancer.org/profiles/Allison-Perrine/
Categories: Bible, children, Christianity, Community, Death, Faith, Jesus, love, Parenting, Pastor, Story, Teamwork, The Church, Uncategorized, Youth
Tags: Allison Perrine, bicycling, bicycling across the country, cancer, cancer awareness, courage, honoring parents, Joshua 1:9, perseverance
Comments: 1 Comment
Words from WW Blog 