Parisian Relief

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                      August 21, 2018

                                  

In another example of guys having a hard time keeping it in their pants, Paris has installed several public urinals along its streets. The “uritrottoir” (a combination of the French words for urinal and pavement) have been installed in various places to combat the problem of people urinating in public. (I’m not making this up!)

Now a man who can’t hold his beer can walk right up to…this thing!…that resembles a trash can, and take care of business. One of the “uritrottoirs” is located right along the Seine River. Tourists boats go up and down the river. Now they can add another “sight” to their tour.

The creator of the innovative urinal says that it offers an ecological solution to public peeing. One of the relief stations is 20 meters away from an elementary school. 

Growing up in Kentucky I was accustomed to relieving myself in non-public restroom places. When our family of five drove the curvy roads between Winchester and Paintsville to visit the relatives we’d often have to pull over to the side of the two lane highway in our 1958 Ford Fairlane so that one or more of the three kids could take the pressure off. Dad would watch for cars as we stood a few feet off the road. At our Mamaw and Papaw Helton’s farm there were a number of times where, in the midst of playing outside, I stood on the foot bridge over the creek and took care of business. The outhouse was just a few feet away, but the outhouse also…had spiders and cobwebs and dark corners that six year old boys, like me, tried to keep their distance from.

But that was in rural, agricultural Kentucky!

On the “uritrottoir” there’s a drawing to demonstrate to the urinators how to…pee! The drawing is a bit humorous because no normal action of relieving oneself would look like that. 

I’ll be in Paris next May, but I won’t be using the outdoor facility. I’m at an age where it’s difficult enough to just get started. Having people watching me has a negative effect on my speed. I’d be standing there for like…20 minutes and six passing tour boats! 

And you can’t be inconspicuous with the “uritrottoir” because they are bright red! If you’re standing in front of one it’s like you’re shouting “Hey! Look at me!”

They even have flowers on top of them. I guess that’s like organic potpourri!

I’m just a little unsure of this “advance” in civilization. Listen! If you can’t hold it long enough until you get to the next public restroom you’ve got some real issues! 

And talk about gender bias!

Explore posts in the same categories: children, Community, Freedom, Humor, Nation, Parenting, Story, Uncategorized, Youth

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