A Substitute Teacher’s Notes To Self
WORDS FROM W.W. May 18, 2016
“A Substitute Teacher’s Notes to Self”
April 20
Assignment: 1st Grade
Today I learned that first grade boys have bad balance. Most of them fell out of their chairs sometime, or several times, during the day. Girls, on the other hand, are well-balanced and make good ballerinas. Not a single girl fell out of her chair.
April 22
Assignment: Kindergarten
If the snack crumbles it will end up on the floor. Cheese crackers and tortilla chips are destined for the carpet. On the other hand, grapes, celery, and raisins seem to be able to stay glued to the desks they are on.
April 25
Assignment: 5th Grade
Fifth graders are into nicknames. My class had an assortment of nicknames, and characters…Taco Bell, Beaner, Hot Dog, Squeezie, Ant Man, and The Whiz…it seemed that everyone had an extra label of distinction.
April 27
Assignment: Junior High Physical Education
Note to future self! When the teacher joins in on the games of dodgeball, especially the substitute teacher, he becomes the target! Nothing gives junior high boys more pleasure than lawfully pelting the sub! Stopped on the way home at the optometrist to get my glasses repaired!
April 29
Assignment: 3rd Grade
Give third graders the possibility of extra recess and they will follow you anywhere.
May 3
Assignment: 1st Grade
Met my match! He…no names please…was the first student I ever sent to the office…and he was also the second person I ever sent to the office. He was unfazed by either visit, and, I found out later, that the office was on a first name basis with him. They had considered giving him his own room there.
May 6
Assignment: High School Study Hall Monitor
The best!!! Four hours of reading in a room of students who all want to study…and getting paid for it!
May 9
Assignment: Third Grade
Third graders are completely amused by farting sounds! There always seems to be one boy who wants attention, either by farting or falling out of his chair like a Hollywood stunt man.
May 11
Assignment: 7th Grade Geography
Identify right away the student who has discovered his gift for being a royal pain in the butt! Keep your eye on him, because he has spent more time preparing to be a distraction than he has on doing his homework.
May 12
Assignment: Latin
Never ever ever take a sub job teaching a foreign language that you can not speak. The students will be saying things about you in THAT foreign language that they would never say in English.
Explore posts in the same categories: children, Humor, Parenting, Teamwork, Uncategorized, YouthTags: first graders, Junior High PE, recess, school, School recess, substitute teacher, substitute teaching, third graders
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