A Substitute Teacher’s Notes To Self

WORDS FROM W.W.                                                           May 18, 2016

                              “A Substitute Teacher’s Notes to Self”

April 20

        Assignment: 1st Grade

Today I learned that first grade boys have bad balance. Most of them fell out of their chairs sometime, or several times, during the day. Girls, on the other hand, are well-balanced and make good ballerinas. Not a single girl fell out of her chair.

April 22

        Assignment: Kindergarten

       If the snack crumbles it will end up on the floor. Cheese crackers and tortilla chips are destined for the carpet. On the other hand, grapes, celery, and raisins seem to be able to stay glued to the desks they are on.

April 25

        Assignment: 5th Grade

Fifth graders are into nicknames. My class had an assortment of nicknames, and characters…Taco Bell, Beaner, Hot Dog, Squeezie, Ant Man, and The Whiz…it seemed that everyone had an extra label of distinction.

April 27

        Assignment: Junior High Physical Education

Note to future self! When the teacher joins in on the games of dodgeball, especially the substitute teacher, he becomes the target! Nothing gives junior high boys more pleasure than lawfully pelting the sub! Stopped on the way home at the optometrist to get my glasses repaired!

April 29

       Assignment: 3rd Grade

         Give third graders the possibility of extra recess and they will follow you anywhere.

May 3

      Assignment: 1st Grade

Met my match! He…no names please…was the first student I ever sent to the office…and he was also the second person I ever sent to the office. He was unfazed by either visit, and, I found out later, that the office was on a first name basis with him. They had considered giving him his own room there.

May 6

     Assignment: High School Study Hall Monitor

The best!!! Four hours of reading in a room of students who all want to study…and getting paid for it!

May 9

     Assignment: Third Grade

       Third graders are completely amused by farting sounds! There always seems to be one boy who wants attention, either by farting or falling out of his chair like a Hollywood stunt man.

    May 11

      Assignment: 7th Grade Geography

Identify right away the student who has discovered his gift for being a royal pain in the butt! Keep your eye on him, because he has spent more time preparing to be a distraction than he has on doing his homework.

May 12

      Assignment: Latin

Never ever ever take a sub job teaching a foreign language that you can not speak. The students will be saying things about you in THAT foreign language that they would never say in English.

Explore posts in the same categories: children, Humor, Parenting, Teamwork, Uncategorized, Youth

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